Room of Guidance 
♫ Dearly Beloved ♫"You won't fade. You can't fade. No power can defeat you—not the light, not the dark. So don't run from the light—and don't fear the darkness. Both will make you stronger."
Room of Guidance
Hard work and determination. No interest in true design sense. Tired.
Your text is all centered?
Not all. But yes, it is. In most cases, that is deliberate. In some cases, it is because I am not very good at this.
Will you make your site accessible one day?
Maybe. I'll look into it at some point. I'm clearly bad at this even with resources, but it's on my mind whenever I come back to this site.
Why is there autoplay on desktop?
Design is based on old websites, which had autoplay. On desktop, you should be able to mute the tab if it annoys you.
Why isn't there autoplay on desktop?
Browser might default to blocking it, or else it just didn't start for some other janky reason. It's fine.
Why is there no autoplay on mobile?
I'm not good at this.
Do the unFAQs get updated?
Yes. The page, and all unFAQs, are permanent works-in-progress. I may go back and randomly add a question to a section, or actually receive a question from someone who isn't me and answer it. Once this site is properly published, however, those updates will be things I compile into an entry for my RSS feed.
Can I add you on Discord? Twitter? Dreamwidth, maybe?
Anyone is welcome to try, but I will probably not let you in unless we have talked somewhere else, or a friend/your own behavior convinces me I should.
Did you have fun making up a guy to fight with in some of those unFAQs near the bottom of the page?
Not really, but I figured I might as well get the unpleasant stuff out of the way. Sorry, guy I made up.
Do the quotes at the top of each page mean anything?
Yes. Do you want to guess, or do you want me to tell you?
Do you know how beautiful the moon is?
Yes. He is so beautiful it is impossible to put into meaningful words. All those men in the sky are.
Because things must come out of my head.
Does it frighten you?
Not typically. The idea of not being allowed to does.
Because things must come out of my head.
Does it frighten you?
Not typically. The idea of not being allowed to does.
My Season of Kink fics, of which there will be twenty-five!
Also, a high school AU set in Australia; it focuses on Sora, Roxas, Riku, and Axel, with a prominent secondary and ensemble tertiary cast (and cameos for fun). Also, dysfunction. Dysfunction combined with a pseudonormal everyday life feeling.
Anything else planned?
A whole lot of things, but who knows if or when they will exist. I have some drafts for a couple of gift fics from years ago. Perhaps I should do more of those, or polish them up soon... I also want to do the 100 ships challenge, and finish off some fics which I started but never went anywhere.
Red Wine, White Wine; Ode to a Beach Ball; Three Kisses for the King; Bank the Fire at Dawn; Family Planning; Extra Cheese; Safe; Thirteen; Harlem Sunset; Summer, Salty Sweet. They can be found here.
Is this series complete?
Yes. It is also 2023, and as I have no fic leftovers from Akuroku Week 2019, there would thus be no sense in adding anything to this particular series.
What about the individual works in the series?
Yes, I would like to continue writing in some of the worlds I came up with for Akuroku Week 2019. In particular, I would like to write more works in the 1920s gangster universe established in ' Harlem Sunset'.
Why those titles? How did you come up with them?
It's been a while, so I can't remember the specifics. 'Red Wine, White Wine' was meant to evoke a feeling of intimacy, pleasure, and sensuality, and also some of the colors associated with Axel and Roxas. 'Ode to a Beach Ball' combines humor with seriousness regarding the words in the title; as for the reason why those specific words, the fic itself discusses that in more detail. 'Three Kisses for the King' has a 'heroic' and romantic feeling, I think. Again, the fic itself should make clear who the 'King' is. 'Bank the Fire at Dawn' creates a feeling of melancholy and finality; the title is referenced, though it is not a proper title drop. 'Family Planning' is about Axel and Roxas having a kid, 'Safe' is a sickfic, 'Thirteen' is about thirteen important moments in Axel and Roxas's life, 'Summer, Salty Sweet' makes vague reference to its title, and 'Extra Cheese' involves Axel as a pizza delivery guy. 'Harlem Sunset' is a noir phrase meaning 'a fatal wound inflicted in a knife fight' and also felt appropriate considering Axel and Roxas's ties to twilight.
As for how I came up with them, in most cases, it was 'in a rush'. I don't find coming up with titles too hard, to be honest. I usually have a general idea before starting, and once a fic is reading to be posted, after the writing and editing process is complete, there's usually a handful of obvious choices. I just pick one I like and go with it. It's not something one should overthink, especially for fanfic.
You wrote these in a rush, huh?
Yes. Aside from 'Harlem Sunset', most of them were written the day before/day of their respective Akuroku Week 2019 prompt. Their editing is a little weaker than that used for most of my later works, although there were also just some things I didn't know at the time of writing them. I also think I left out the accent in Naminé's in some of them. But, overall, they're still decent fics.
First Touch; Another Touch. They can be found here.
Is this series complete?
Yes. At this time, I have no plans to add additional works to this series.
What about the individual works in the series?
The individual works in this series are set in the same universe, so the above answer applies.
Why those titles? How did you come up with them?
They're stories about the senses; in particular, our sense of touch. They are some of my most delightfully simple and boring titles. I hope they act as a reminder to anyone who likes my work and also writes that sometimes it's fine if your fics have the most plain titles in all the world.
Why those four characters?
They're the main characters from Chain of Memories (or just about) and I thought it would be interesting to explore their relationship. I wouldn't have minded including characters like Donald and Goofy, or someone like Axel, but I also feel like their inclusion would create a slightly different mood as I shifted the work to accommodate their unique personalities and behaviors, or, in Axel's case, the particular relationship he had with (Replica) Riku. The stories were not intended to be long, and I felt those four worked best; they were rather intimately tied up with each other. Why not take that further?
Tropical Balm; Tropical Buzz; Tropical Bloom. They can be found here.
Is this series complete?
Yes. However, I may write in this universe again.
Why those titles? How did you come up with them?
'Tropicana' means, to my understanding, 'things relating to the tropics; things that are tropical' and other such. Funnily enough, I can't find anything online anymore to confirm this. I just remember the word being used that way...and also a juice with the name. Funnily enough, not a juice made by the company Tropicana. Regardless, it's just the word Tropic with the -ana suffix. You can read about how the word works here. The individual titles 'Tropical Balm', 'Tropical Buzz', and 'Tropical Bloom' are all things that could be considered 'Tropicana', and evoke feelings of the tropics, of summer, of a particular world and feeling. Balm refers to the feeling of humid air on skin, a sense of cloying, of healing, of sticking to skin. Buzz refers to the intense 'sound' of heat, and, I suppose, of insects; while one can drown in both balm and buzz, buzz represents something sharper, droning, overwhelming in ways both positive and negative. Bloom refers to both flowers and the act of blossoming; a beautiful sort of awakening, a bright splash of color after a storm. I think each fic in the series reflects the word chosen for it.
Any songs you associate with the series?
'Eternity ~Memories of Light and Waves~', by Takahito Eguchi and Noriko Matsueda. It's from the FFX-2 soundtrack. I believe I may have also listened to 'Ami', both the original and piano collections versions. The original was by Nobuo Uematsu, and the piano collections version was arranged by Shirō Hamaguchi and performed by Shinko Ogata. There were likely other songs in there too.
Why doesn't Kairi get a story told from her perspective?
Kairi has a mysterious feeling, I think. I also think 'Tropical Balm' needed to be told from Selphie's perspective. It establishes her story, her personality, her life, and most importantly, her feelings. I need to show how the people of Destiny Islands remember their experiences after everything. I need a story told by an outsider to the events involving Keyblades and Ansems and Princesses of Heart, and because it's also a story about Selphie being in love with Kairi, it had to be her. Kairi and her thoughts and feelings need to exist in a world both near and far to Selphie, and to the reader.
In contrast, 'Buzz' and 'Bloom' need to obscure Selphie's feelings. Since each story is about her relationship with Kairi, Riku, and Sora, the latter two stories would be told from Riku and Sora's perspectives. They need to be told from the perspective of people who have ceased to exist in a world of unchanging, endless summer; from people who exist outside Selphie and Kairi's changed relationship. They're also smaller stories, told primarily in the span of an afternoon rather than a year.
All that said, I wouldn't mind doing a story from Kairi's perspective. This universe feels ripe for more emotions, more play. But I think, in the context of the 'Tropicana' series, it is done. But in the context of a different set of stories, we might get one from Kairi's perspective. A different sort of longing, maybe. A different sort of struggle, of love, of wistful dreaming.
Silver; Shattering; Void. They can be found here.
Is this series complete?
Yes. At this time, I have no plans to add additional works to this series.
Why those titles? How did you come up with them?
'Complications in Silver and Gold' is a reference to hierarchies of worth; of self; of life; what they are and why they destroy people. 'Silver' is a reference to Naminé's understanding of herself as a Nobody; a lesser form of life, and, in her case, a lesser version of Kairi. If Sora had loved and chosen her, by her own perception, she would have become 'Gold'. A higher form of life. Someone like (Replica) Riku could not give this to her, because by the standards of those around her (and, in all honesty, by herself) he is worth even less than her. He is 'silver' too, or something below it. Of course, the very idea that 'gold' is worth more than 'silver' is questionable, and even the very idea that either metal is uniquely special in comparison to other things is something constructed by humans, rather than by some natural law. '
Shattering' explores the nature of (Replica) Riku's shattered psyche. He is also a 'lesser' version of another person, and he has similar longings; to be loved, to be made real, to be chosen as one of the worthy. It also explores the chose to protect someone who ultimately broke him, because he understands more than anything the state of being 'less than'.
Finally, 'Void' is told from (Dark Replica) Riku's perspective, and explores his rage at (Replica) Riku's dismissal of their existence, and what that ultimately costs him. It's about the horror of having your own affirmation of worth rejected and having no power to stop the consequences when you are forced into the hierarchy and found wanting.
Schneeweißchen, Rosenrot, und Nachtschwarz. It can be found here.
Is this series complete?
No. At this time, I have plans to add additional works to this series.
Why those titles? How did you come up with them?
'Tales from Another Kingdom' is in reference to the fact all the stories are fairytale porn pastiches. 'Schneeweißchen, Rosenrot, und Nachtschwarz' is a retitling of 'Schneeweißchen und Rosenrot', otherwise known as 'Snow-White and Rose-Red'. The title refers to the three main characters; Naminé, Kairi, and Xion. Nachtschwarz means Night-Black. The chapter titles 'Der Rote Wolf und der Bergkatze', 'Zwischenakt: Haus und Herd', and 'Der Mond Panther und der Bär des Unbekannt' mean 'The Red Wolf and the Mountain Cat', 'Intermission: House and Hearth', and 'The Moon Panther and the Bear of the Unknown'. Or at least, I hope that's what it means. 'Zwischenakt: Haus und Herd' was called 'Zwischenakt: Haus und Hof' up until 27 May 2023, because I thought 'hof' meant 'hearth'. Whoops. I don't know German. 'Haus und Hof' isn't too terrible a mistake, at least.
You can find a brief discussion regarding the chapter title 'Der Rote Wolf und der Bergkatze' beneath said chapter in the comments section.
What's with the point of view switching like that?
I didn't want to write the sex scenes from a singular perspective, but it also wasn't the sort of story where frequent scene breaks would have been appropriate. Thus, I elected to 'head hop' via the magical powers of mental and emotional connection the characters share. :> One of the perks of working with fairytales and magical beings; experiments with perspective!
Sure. Hope you enjoy it.
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Do you think this should have been called 'Like and Unalike' instead?
Sometimes.
Sure. Hope you enjoy it.
Have you ever considered writing more in this universe?
Yes. I used to occasionally do twitter-rambles regarding the setting and relationships.
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Why that title? How'd you come up with it?
As is often the case, I think the story itself makes a good case for the title. I think it's an impactful line; a thought that summarizes Sora's perspective and motivations.
How could you make Sora do that?
Easily, because while some people might be more likely to do what Sora does in this fic, the reality is that anyone can do what Sora does in this fic. Being a lovely, warm person doesn't change that. And I did actually consider Sora's behavior (both Sora and Data Sora) when coming up with reasons and (sometimes contradictory) motivations that could work in tandem and keep him relatively in character.
'Mystery Meat Riku', really?
If people were funny and interesting they would use that tag too.
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Why that title? How'd you come up with it?
I think this one is answered in the text. I suppose there were other things I could have called it, but I think those words as said by the character who says them encompassed a good part of what I wanted to say with the story. In the end, what else can people do when they are plummeting but call out those words?
What is 'Tropical Gothic'? That's a neat tag.
When I first used the tag, I had intended it to invoke the combined feeling of the Gothic genre and, well, the tropics. A sense of eerie strange places in both the light and darkness of summer. I didn't actually realize it was a real genre until later (I have, in fact, read what is to my understanding one of the defining works of the genre; Nick Joaquin's 'The Woman Who Had Two Navels and Tales of the Tropical Gothic'). I have considered changing the tag to 'Summer Gothic' since Tropical Gothic as a genre tends to be bound up in specific real world politics that I don't quite think are relevant to my fan fiction. But, on the other hand, I'm not too fussed about it. I still think the idea of 'Tropical Gothic' conveys the general feeling of the work. If I write more works wherein the tag is relevant, I might change it then.
Sure. Hope you enjoy it.
Why that title? How'd you come up with it?
There's a side of the moon we don't see, but it's just as much a part of the moon as the part we do. The moon is also beautiful; very appropriate for any Riku, I think. The story explains the choice of title, anyhow.
How did you come up with this concept?
It's a little different from the way Kingdom Hearts typically plays with selfhood and identity, and the connecting and combining of existences, I think. I came up with it based on a misinterpretation of a twitter post, hilariously. People were talking about (Original) Riku and (Replica) Riku merging in a discussion regarding his visiting Naminé at the end of Kingdom Hearts 3. While I think that discussion is odd ((Original) Riku and Naminé were friends and, in some respects, coworkers; they were closer than (Replica) Riku and Naminé ever were), my misinterpretation of what 'merging' meant in this context created interesting results. I've had many thoughts about consciousness, its continuity, and other such things prior to this, and my misunderstanding acted as an excellent starting point for this story. I did not write or publish the story under any misinterpretation, though; I figured out the truth before then.
Sure. Hope you enjoy it.
Why that title? How'd you come up with it?
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Why that title? How'd you come up with it?
Why are there unrelated comments under this fic?
This used to be the fic I designated as a contact page. The fic itself is pretty unlikely to offend most people, hence why I chose it.
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Yes, generally. It can take me some time to reply, but I do appreciate hearing from people. One of the reasons it can take me time is because I'm trying to formulate a good response. Sometimes someone has said something that prompts me to think, or requires a more lengthy reply. Other times, I take time because time isn't real.
You seem to make commenting difficult though?
I like to maintain control over the ways in which people contact me online. Dreamwidth will allow you relative anonymity when speaking to me, and both Dreamwidth and AO3 allow pseudonimity. Most people don't comment or speak to me, anyway, but on the off chance someone wants to, say, flame me, I can ensure I'm the only one who sees it, and also shut down the ability for most people to contact me. It doesn't bother me so much (in the sense that I'm fine with not being contacted).
Will I get you to write more of the fic I like to read by commenting?
No. Or not necessarily. I do what I want when I want because I have to...or because I want to. Under some circumstances, commenting may put me in a state of mind to get what you want; not because you asked, but because I feel like it. But there's also a very likely chance I'm already doing something else. Either way, if you choose to comment, do so because you want to regarding a thing that exists, rather than for the sake of something that doesn't.
Do you have any preferences regarding comments?
I do like comments that feel like they engaged with the work, even if they come to unusual or different-than-expected conclusions regarding it. I like compliments (like most people). I like connections. But I also enjoy small comments and little 'comment kudos' and such. But I don't require comments and will make my art regardless. Do it because you want to, not because you feel you must.
And any sorts of comments you dislike?
Aside from proper flames or harassment or the like, not really. I don't particularly want or seek critique, but if I get some I probably won't explode. I do appreciate typo corrections, though. Please let me know if you find one so I can make it go away (if you're wrong about the typo, I won't be mean to you about it). I get sad when nice comments are deleted, but you must do as you wish.
I'm shy of commenting; should I still do it?
It's up to you. In almost all circumstances, I will approach those who comment with what I hope is thoughtfulness and genuine kindness. Even if you are accidentally (or sometimes even on purpose) annoying or anything like that, I won't think truly badly of you (but I don't think I should lie and say 'you will always come across perfectly' and 'I will always be perfectly happy'. I know I probably come across as an obnoxious dip sometimes, but it's fine. People communicate weird sometimes, and I think it's okay if our communications are a bit awkward sometimes). I don't think anyone who has commented has been cruel to me, even if sometimes things felt awkward, and I don't think I've been cruel to anyone. You likely aren't that special to become the first, and if you do, I will just delete your comment and leave you alone (unlikely).
Can I tell you if I jerked off to your work?
I don't personally mind and/or care, so yes, if you like. I'm glad you could find pleasure in it. I do think that's pretty cool.
And if I don't want to tell you?
Then you don't. *thumbs up* Do as you will.
Do you actually use comments as a place to hide author's notes?"
Rarely. Out of fifty fics, I hid author's notes in the comments of one of them. I did this because I dislike having my author's notes visible between chapters and think it messes with the overall flow and appearance of the fic. I don't think most people sort by comments, and even if they did, I doubt any would be tricked in to read my works due to the existence of one author's note comment per chapter.
I'm glad. Thank you for your interest. Please do give your kind words to the authors (or occasionally other sorts of artist) whose works you enjoyed.
I didn't like your recs!
Well, that is the way of things sometimes. You are welcome to create your own rec list. Please leave the authors and other artists alone.
How can I be added to your rec list?
Write a fic, or create some other sort of art, that I enjoy and want to share.
I'm delighted to be featured on your rec list!
I'm glad. If you want to speak to me about said delight, or anything else, you can contact me via this link.
And how do I get my work removed from your rec list?
As mentioned elsewhere, you can contact me via this link. Please note I will never delete my private archived copies, and may still privately recommend and share your work with others. I may also keep a notice somewhere that a fic was removed, along with the fic’s name and possibly (one of) the author’s username(s). However, if you are currently dealing with some form of stalking or harassment—whether that be due to being on my rec list, or, more likely, something else—and this is a contributing factor in your desire to minimize the presence of your work, please let me know. This greatly decreases the likelihood of me privately sharing your work and including identifying information with regard to your fic on my ‘fics removed’ list. Keep in mind that, at least on the Archive, you have more power than I do with regards to anonymizing yourself.
My work was deleted from the internet! Why did you still rec it?
Because I thought it was good and I enjoyed it, or perhaps even because I thought it was influential or a pillar of a particular period of Kingdom Hearts fic history. I genuinely don’t believe there is an issue with the idea of continuing to share various forms of art after they have been deleted by their creators, nor with private—and sometimes public—archival of said art. Note that I will personally never repost works, and will never claim such works as my own when privately sharing.
If, as mentioned above, your concerns are with regards to stalking and harassment, please let me know. Otherwise, I think it’s fine for people to continue sharing and reccing deleted art, and to keep private copies for themselves and to show to others. I also believe it is fine for someone to remove their art from the contexts that connect it to them (from their accounts, from the public internet) and from contexts wherein others claim it as their own (reposting, claiming credit).
With that said, if you desperately don't want your work shared then please contact me at the above link regarding removal from the rec list. As mentioned in response to the question And how do I get my work removed from your rec list, your work’s deletion from the list may be noted. Please also contact me if you would prefer your work to be anonymized when shared, or if you would prefer your works shared only under specific circumstances. I will not, under any circumstances, delete my personal copy of your work.
But my work is the worst/evil/embarrassing/poorly written/a blight upon all sentient beings?!
I disagree, or maybe I don't care because I liked what you made regardless. Also, please recall that a rec list is not a drama channel, a sporking, or something else of that sort. It is on the list because I thought it was important from a fandom context or I liked it. And to be quite frank, there are things you do in your everyday life that are likely more 'evil' than the most 'evil' thing you've ever written, drawn, or otherwise created art of; I do not think it is in any way meaningful to remove 'evil' art and/or fiction, particularly not art of this small—but loved—magnitude. I'm not saying that to be cruel, nor to say I think you are 'evil' in any meaningfully unique sense; you very likely aren't that different from most people. I just think if you're trying to do something 'good' for the world, you should prioritize something else.
Would you consider this behavior entitled?
No, not really. It might be entitled to demand you keep your work up and connected to you. It would be entitled to demand more. But it's not entitled to keep a copy of a piece of art or to share it privately. I think, under some circumstances, it might be thoughtless—though not entitled—to share it without due consideration of the circumstances. But this is about my general approach, not about edge cases. If you feel you are an edge case, again, the link is up there.
Despite being about something positive, you made up a guy to really bring down the mood in your unFAQ, huh?
Unfortunately, I did. I wanted to get all that unhappy information out there, though, so that authors and artists of all fannish sorts have an idea what to expect. For the most, I hope they are genuinely happy and excited to be on my rec list. I hope it is mostly a positive experience for people, both readers and artists alike!
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