Later it would mean everything.
The first time they met it meant nothing.
That is to say it wasn't something Roxas chose, at any rate, or planned with any sort of careful deliberation. Instead an email informed him that his workplace orientation—on a perfectly boring Tuesday—would be led by some guy named Axel Lee, a long time employee with an excellent record and a steady hand.
Roxas's first impression of the man included none of those things.
Well he was a long time employee, but Axel Lee seemed to have neither an excellent record nor a steady hand, and he was quickly convinced that the email he'd been sent consisted of a mere template message with the appropriate names switched in.
It wasn't his appearance that did him in though. Oh, Roxas could see how someone else might judge it, what with the firetruck red mane and the wicked purple liner—not to mention the twin facial tattoos just below—but Organization XIII had a reputation for employees of unconventional appearance. Roxas had selected selected to work with them in part because they didn't care (his own bedhead was an unavoidable aspect of his being, though he was certain many a hair stylist and salon worker wondered how much gel he used to maintain his looks).
(The answer was none).
No, it was everything that happened in the first minute of meeting Axel Lee that left him questioning the email's veracity. It was the fact that upon entering the building Axel was seated on a desk, feet on a chair, blue-haired coworker threatening to dump his coffee all over him if he didn't fuck off.
"You were under quota last month Lee," the coworker hissed. "Do you really want to fuck around on my desk when your current ranking's at risk?"
And, "If we can't fuck Isa, a blowjob will do," were the first words Roxas ever heard Axel Lee speak, if not the first words directed at him.
"This is why you're stuck on orientation," Isa replied, and then, "and on the job it's Saïx, Lee. Now get to work, your eight o'clock is here."
Roxas hadn't been particularly thrilled by any of it. The general disdain from—Isa, Saïx?—stung, but it was nothing compared to the trepidation in his gut as Axel swung off Saïx's desk and swaggered over, though not before stealing his coffee.
One sip, two sip, and then there they were, Axel's first words to Roxas.
"Wanna ditch this joint and grab some ice cream?"
Roxas sighed.
He also said yes.
The trip down to the local ice cream parlor wasn't a long one, but it was enough time to get a handle on who Axel Lee actually was.
He dressed in decently appropriate attire; white button-up, sleeves rolled to the elbows, black vest with red accents, and a deep green tie. Respectable trousers and somewhat less respectable black and white wingtip dress shoes accompanied it, and entirely unrespectable silver bangles clattered and clanged on his wrists, completing the outfit.
Or not. Roxas almost missed the silver studs in his ears, but when Axel turned his way they caught the sun and gleamed.
"So, Roxas right?"
"Roxas Skye."
"And who do you want to be, Roxas Skye? You more of a first name kind of guy, or am I gonna have to get my tongue around Mister Skye?"
"Roxas works fine."
"Good, good. We can get along then."
"You mean we couldn't get along if I'd asked for the basic respect of a 'Mister', huh?"
"Nope," Axel grinned. "Not at all."
The city itself was on the edge of fall, autumnal colors emerging and overtaking the once green leaves of summer. It made a pretty backdrop for Axel Lee, Roxas considered, and he found looking at the man a suitable distraction to listening to him waffle on.
Eventually though, Roxas had to ask, "So what was that back there? At the office?"
Axel paused, hand ceasing its flip-flapping about. "Back at the office? Oh! You mean with Isa."
"Saïx," Roxas corrected.
"Ugh, right. Well anyway, we grew up together. That's just how we talk to each other I guess."
"Right. Sounded like it."
A laugh. "You sound like you believe it!"
"Mmhm."
"Right, fine. We've had, hm, something of a falling out," Axel frowned. "Do you really want to hear all the interpersonal office drama first day?"
"Might as well. I've already read all the orientation papers, and I came in last week to check out my office space."
"Oh, you're a hardworking boy huh? On top of it all?"
"Did you have to make that sound so lewd?"
Axel laughed. "Oh yeah, absolutely."
They didn't get to the interpersonal drama immediately. They reached their destination first, were seated out on the deck of McDuck's Ice Cream Parlor (Since est. 1947) by a bubbly blonde whose nametag read Rikku. The interior was all blue and white circles and stripes, a little tacky, but the exterior had a nice view of the City's park. They sat, and were promptly served two bowels of Axel's favorite.
"Sea Salt Ice Cream?"
"I promise it's good," Axel winked. Roxas rolled his eyes, but discovered upon the first mouthful that maybe Axel Lee could be as good as his word.
It was over ice cream that Roxas learnt about all the office drama; from Isa—who'd gained a fondness for his business name Saïx after one too many intimate compliments from the Boss—and Axel's relationship (a friend's-with-benefits type deal), to Demyx's hooking up with half the company. There were office affairs and misuse of company equipment for the purpose of 'mad experimentation', and there were frequent attempts to undermine each other to climb the ranks—though often, if successful, this achievement was only temporary. Axel himself had had a bad month, though that was often the case during the summer. And all of that occured alongside Marluxia and Larxene's apparent untoward attempts at climbing the company ladder.
"Not that the Boss himself is all that 'toward'," Axel said, twirling his spoon. "Organization XIII is a business first and foremost, got it memorized? We're just a bunch of lackeys in the end, even the big fancy ones up top. Which reminds me..." Axel tugged an envelope out of his pocket.
"What's that?"
"Your details," Axel explained, waving it around. "You're a real overachiever, you know? Most of the new guys get to start with grunt work, the biggest nobodies of the nobodies, but you—the Boss likes you. He's given you a whole sudivision to manage."
"Interior and Exterior Lighting," Roxas stated.
"Boring as shit, and I should know 'cause I'm stuck with Indoor and Outdoor Heating," Axel shrugged. "Might be why he put us together you know, fire and light?"
"Poetic."
"Oh sure, very romantic." Axel wiggled his eyebrows.
Roxas quirked a brow of his own, but couldn't find it in himself to be surprised that this ridiculous man was a flirt. "Is that what you're into? Poetry?"
"I'm not fussy. I'm more into 'cute people', but," Axel dropped his spoon into his empty bowl, the clatter echoing loudly, "I'm not that unprofessional. Especially since it looks like I'm assigned to keep an eye on you over the next few months."
"You are?" That was news to Roxas.
"I am, so you'd better let me know quick what bothers you and what doesn't. I have a reputation, and I'm letting you know now, but you'll find I'm a hell of a lot nicer than half the other guys you'll be working with. So just give me a call and I'll be there, y'know?"
"Okay," Roxas said, and then, "That a promise?"
"Oh sure," Axel sat back in his seat, "it's a promise."
And for all that Axel Lee appeared to be neither an upstanding model employee or a man with a steady hand, Roxas believed him.
They had many meetings after that, mostly at the office, but sometimes outside for lunch or the occasional evening at the bar. Most of those meetings included the other Organization members though, didn't feel quite like that first day at the ice cream parlor.
So to Roxas, the second time they 'met' wasn't until almost a month later. Work had them both doing overtime, their staff departed for home while the two of them struggled with their new outdoor heating-lighting proposal.
"Wish I worked in sex toy design. I'm good with those, I'd be set for life!"
"I feel like you'd do better as QA for that."
It eased the boredom a little, their odd back-and-forth. Roxas had discovered that, despite poor first impressions, Axel was a decent guy. He was also terrible in a great number of ways—excessively flirtatious and, while he'd made good on his promise to help Roxas out, was sometimes flaky when things were less serious. Out of all the people he worked with though, he found he enjoyed Axel's company the most.
He had a good sense of humor and a willingness to let Roxas hang out with him that most of the other high-end employees did not display. "They've got their own cliques and rules already, or they're not willing to get involved with groups at all," Axel had explained to him at work one afternoon. "Don't take it personally, and when you get the chance to work with them, use it to steal their techniques and ideas."
So he hadn't taken it personally, and in turn he'd learnt a lot by watching them work.
But not as much as he learnt when watching Axel.
Roxas wasn't really sure what to make of that. Sure, he'd picked up a little of Axel's charisma, like the disarming way he smiled and spoke when he wasn't being a sleaze. People underestimated him because of his appearance and were duped by his expert flattery, and Roxas realized maybe he could do something similar—albeit with an approach better suited to his small size and baby blues.
But more than that he'd picked up useless things watching Axel. The way Axel hated to speak without gesturing, the slope of his hand down to his wrist when he waved it about, the way his eyes seemed to glitter in the right light, the way certain words rolled off his tongue like fire and sex—
Oh boy.
Roxas put a stop to that train of thought real fast.
We don't need any of that over here, not after what happened back home. No relationships, nada.
He just really couldn't deal with that sort of pain again.
The loud growl of Axel's stomach brought a halt to their work. An order for pizza was placed, and an agreement reached that until they'd eaten they could relax.
"It's seven," Roxas scowled, eyes on the office clock, "what the fuck?"
"Yeesh," Axel pulled a face, stretched the crick out of his neck. "Better get used to it though, we're heading into cooler weather. Means more work for us."
"Yippie," Roxas deadpanned.
Pens and pencils rolled as Axel hefted himself onto the desk, laughing. "Yep. Hey, did you wanna see something cool?"
"If this is the start of a joke about something in your pants, then no."
"No, no," Axel shook his head. "We've got a good twenty minutes until we've gotta buzz in the pizza guy. I thought maybe I could show you the roof."
"The roof?"
"Yeah, trust me, it's cool."
Trusting Axel beyond that first promise hadn't ever really been on his agenda, but he found the desire to rather irresistible whenever he was near the other man. Like gravity, maybe, impossible for a man to fight.
So he nodded and found himself whizzed up to the fortieth floor, then led up another small flight of stairs to the roof. Axel opened the door with a flourish, "After you, Mister Skye."
Roxas snorted. "Shut up Axel."
"Oh nice, we're on 'shut up' terms."
His first thought upon exiting onto the roof was that is bloody cold, now officially fall. Autumn winds were chilly and cutting here, a promise of winter snows. He rubbed his arms.
The second thought he had was, "Wow."
Below him the City roared, nightlife already well underway. Neon signs and billboards, the twinkle of countless office buildings and residential high-rises indicating folk both at work and at home. Traffic lights and car beams decorated the streets, the noise loud and constant.
But above—above was beautiful in an entirely different way. For all the light pollution Roxas could see thousands of stars. They stretched off into space, winking and shining against a backdrop of deep velvet black. An arm around his shoulders guided him forward, the other pointing up.
"See that constellation?"
"Yeah?"
"That's the Samurai."
"Really?"
"Yeah, he reminds me of you. Hardworking fellow, dangerous in his way, always on a quest for identity or purpose—looking for himself and what he wants to be."
"I thought samurai were into serving their masters?"
"He's a lone samurai."
"Okay, fine, and which one are you exactly?"
"Oh, the Assassin."
"The Assassin huh? Why?"
"Also dangerous," Axel grinned. "Maybe a little fickle and deadly, not quite a loner, but never quite a friend. He..." Axel paused. "He destroys things, including himself if he's not careful, but he...he'd give his life for what matters. Fears loss, maybe because he's taken so much away."
Roxas tilted his head. "Kinda deep."
"Too much for me?"
"No. I mean I don't know you well yet, but I figure if you're willing to take me up to see the stars and not expect to get laid you must be at least a little deep."
It wouldn't have been entirely unbelievable to Roxas if, later, some had reported they'd heard Axel's laughter halfway across the City.
For most of their twenty minutes with the stars they talked. Nothing much; more office life, a little home life. Roxas lived in a little apartment, but Axel apparently had a house with a yard all to himself. It'd been a good half a month since Axel had last been laid, and Saïx was no longer talking to him, "Undoubtedly fucking the Boss right as we speak."
Neither commented on the morality of the situation. Roxas was just glad Axel didn't ask how long it had been since he'd got laid. Once, and never again.
They talked about television and sport—Axel wasn't into it, but Roxas was a Struggle fan. They discussed clothes and looks and anything that wasn't too deep and wasn't the work waiting for them downstairs. They skirted childhood, and by the time they hit the sixteen minute mark were about ready to head back downstairs, the crisp wind a little too much for both of them, and thoroughly talked out.
And yet Axel still asked, "So why'd you come here Roxas?"
Roxas paused, one hand still on the roof's banister. "What'd you mean?"
"Why come out here to the City? This big place, world-changing and yet full of nobodies, thousands upon thousands upon hundreds of thousands of people no one's ever gonna know, who're never gonna join that tiny percent whose names are written in the skies." Axel looked down, away from the stars. "You don't seem like you're from around here. So why'd you come?"
"I..." Roxas paused. "I just thought maybe I'd see what it was all about."
"The City?"
"Being a nobody."
Axel quirked a brow. "Really?"
He shrugged. "Back home I learnt there's a way people can make you feel like a nobody without you just being another face in the crowd. You get compared to someone enough times, encounter enough broken promises..."
Too much. Abort, abort.
Green eyes stared at him. Cold breath wreathed them like smoke, and the light from below made them glitter. Roxas found he couldn't look away, mouth still half-open from all the words he hadn't said, couldn't say.
"Right," Axel said finally. "Fair enough."
He clapped Roxas on the back. "Well, if you had to be a nobody at least you came to a place where you could be a real big one, just like me." Axel paused. "Yeah, just like me. Us Organization folk are a lot harder to forget, after all, and when we get compared with the other companies you know we come out on top. We're the biggest nobodies around, and you're one of us—one of the best of us."
"Right," Roxas found that he couldn't resist a smile. Not with Axel by his side, not amidst the City and the stars.
"So hey, you know I won't be considering you second best and all that. I mean, as far as coworkers go I think you are my favorite so y'know, no 'second bests' for you."
"I'm your favorite? You like me more than Saïx? You're childhood friends right?"
Axel shrugged. "Friends drift apart, and it takes two to tango. He's...making his choices. I'm making mine, and among those choices are things like 'who I'd much rather spend a weekend with', and that's you buddy."
Roxas smiled.
"Now we'd better go let that pizza guy in before he gets gunned down by some sharpshooter in the opposite building looking a free meal. I don't wanna have to kill a man for dinner, but I'm starved and I will."
Roxas's stomach rumbled its agreement.
Later, he might've felt a little sympathy for the poor pizza guy who'd been greeted at the door by a couple of giggling men in business attire, but considering how good he'd felt, he wouldn't have changed anything about that night for the world.
Not even for you, pizza guy. Not even for you.
Their third meeting was, as the second, not in fact their third. It made sense to Roxas to admit that these were special moments then, not everyday encounters. Roxas appreciated the day-to-day with Axel of course, but when he looked back later, he knew there'd be moments that had a place unmatched in his heart—meetings he would remember.
This one happened mid-fall. The trees had already started to drop their autumnal burdens, the streets and parks littered with leaves. The wind was especially strong, chilly and cool, and it lanced right through clothes to leave the pedestrians shivering as they hailed cabs and waited for buses.
It wasn't exactly a big thing, what happened. But Axel'd asked to meet Roxas for lunch to discuss their plans for another lighting-heating proposal. He'd been delayed.
For a good ten minutes Roxas had stood in the streets, blustered by the wind and freezing to the bone. He'd cursed his bad luck but didn't leave, had promised Axel he'd be there.
So maybe that was why it meant so much that when Axel arrived he stopped, blinked, murmured, "You...waited?"
And then before Roxas could answer he'd swept over to him, his thick coat shrugged off his shoulders and placed over Roxas's own.
It was warm and heavy, deep red, and smelled like musk and sweet spices.
Roxas's heart skipped a beat.
Their fourth 'meeting' had been as short as the third, if sillier. In the midst of winter there was no waiting in the streets, not in the City where it snowed. Out in Twilight Town or Destiny Islands it might be warm all year round, but the City was a veritable winter wonderland—which meant no standing around outdoors.
Still there'd been no snow at all that year when it happened. Roxas and Axel had promised to meet for Chinese. They'd wanted to talk a little bit, maybe, about things. Things like childhoods, and past relationships, and what sort of people they liked, what sort of sex. What did they want to do in the future, what were their politics, how did they feel deep down, and how did they relate to the world?
The sort of things you might talk to a friend about, particularly a close friend.
The sort of things you might talk to a lover about, or a potential one.
Roxas's heart had thundered at the thought, even as he walked down the streets. He'd dressed nice, but also cozy, hoped the red on his cheeks from the wind at least had the decency to make his eyes look a little more blue.
Should've got the bus. It's way too cold to walk.
And on the heels of that thought, maybe Axel will warm me up.
His stomach flipped, but he didn't shove the thought away this time.
There was no point to that after all, when seeing that head of red hair just down the street had his heart pounding. Am I walking faster or is he? He wondered, even as they met right in front of the door to the Land of Dragons Chinese Restaurant.
And then—snow.
Just a single drop on Roxas's nose, right before the rest started falling. It was bitterly cold and would clog up the streets.
But Axel's face lit up and he laughed, and Roxas thought he'd tolerate a great deal more snow if it meant he got to see that face every time.
The fifth meeting was at a big convention; Corporations and Their Role in Environmentalism. Protecting the Earth, and all that. Roxas actually thought it was pretty important, but he was far enough down the ranks he suspected that Xemnas wouldn't give him the time of day even if he had anything worthwhile to say.
"He'll do what he'll do," Axel said. "The Boss won't change his plans for us. All we get to decide is what we're willing to put up with for our paycheck—and when we're willing to walk."
It was something to think about, leaving the corporate life. Roxas suspected it had been on Axel's mind as much as his own. The pay was excellent, and working for the Organization provided an enormous amount of benefits—including the fact it looked good on a resume. Both Axel and Roxas had positions in the central chain of command, though maybe it wouldn't be too hard to climb elsewhere.
But career climbing was what had made office life so mad lately. Marluxia and Larxene were both on thin ice, and Saïx had cemented himself as de facto second second-in-command (but not third in command, as that was Xaldin's position). Xigbar was relaxed enough not to get snippy, but Saïx himself had been insufferable in regard to everything—including Roxas and Axel's friendship.
"He's stressed out," Axel'd told him by the water cooler one day. "I think...we both joined up because we thought we could climb to the top, do a lot of good in the world. But we were in over our heads. Now he's freaking out 'cause he's in a position to do something but doesn't know how, and he's got the hots for the Boss but doesn't want to let me go. I'm...his tie to normalcy. But I don't like what we are when we're together these days, and I don't like how jealous he gets over what we have."
Roxas remembered best how he'd gestured between the two of them.
The whole thing came back to Roxas as he and Axel slipt out of the presentation, found a quiet balcony off the convention hall. Axel stopped to grab a coffee, and Roxas had found them a nice spot outside.
"Hey Axel?" He'd asked when he arrived, butterflies in his stomach.
"Yeah?" Axel said, leaned against the wall. There was a nice view of the park here, still wintry, and the City beyond. It all paled in comparison to how pretty Axel looked, despite his bored expression and tacky Styrofoam cup.
"Back when we were talking about Saïx—about his behavior..." Roxas cleared his throat, held Axel's gaze. "What did you mean when you said he was jealous of what we have?"
"Oh," Axel said, then smiled. "I meant this."
And he leaned down and kissed him.
The sixth meeting happened in the middle of the night.
There'd been a phone call, all Roxas could manage, and then twenty minutes later Axel had let himself into his apartment. Roxas had given him the key a week ago.
They'd huddled together on Roxas's bed, wrapped in blankets, shadows playing on the walls from the dim light of the bedroom television—left on and muted.
There, Roxas had let it all spill out. The things he hadn't said back when they'd shared their life stories at the Land of Dragons Chinese.
Once upon a time was a ridiculous way to start his story, but it made some sense to do so tonight. Maybe he just wanted the emotional distance a fairy tale afforded.
Once upon a time there'd been two boys in the suburbs, living close enough together to meet at the library's children's reading groups, to go to the same schools growing up, to play in the same sport's clubs. They'd been good friends, best friends almost, but one of them felt a little jealous of the other. Everyone compared them and found him lacking—always just a mark below, always just a goal behind. Still the boy never felt more complete than when he was with his friend. They played together always, as close as brothers until they weren't anymore.
"I fell in love with him" Roxas choked out, curled up between Axel's legs, in Axel's arms. "He was always so kind to me, to everyone. Even when he was cross he'd still leave room for people to fix their act, let them back in. He was the only one who never compared us, the only one who always said I was good enough and he...he promised me I'd come first."
"He didn't keep that promise?" Axel asked, dim blue light playing across his features. It might've been pretty in a moody sort of way, but Roxas's heart wasn't in it. Not tonight.
"He...couldn't. He had this other friend, Riku, and they were like Light and Darkness, whereas me and him were like...Light and lesser Light. I loved Sora so much and he loved me, I know he did, but I wasn't...who he wanted like that. We dated for a while but even though we were good for each other he needed someone else."
"You gave him up?"
"I wish I'd been that good. Instead he—we—" Roxas choked. "You know how I said I'd only had sex once? It was with him, and I did it because I thought...fuck, I thought it'd make him stay, be personal enough he wouldn't want to go. And the next morning he told me he thought we weren't good for each other. He told me I was my own person who didn't deserve to be compared to him—and who didn't have to be tied to him to have my own identity, my own purpose."
"And you left."
Roxas closed his eyes, tears ceasing finally. "Yes. I got...an email from him earlier tonight, with pictures from home. Him and Riku are together now. We're still friends—us two, and even me and Riku. I still care about him. But he...he told me he couldn't put me first anymore, because the way we were together—we ate away at each other. It wasn't entirely our fault, but we did. And he was right about us, about me, but he also broke our promise."
"I won't."
A pause. "Huh?"
"The promise I made—to be there. I won't break it."
The words were like a fire, burning away the mid-winter cold. The shadows were cast back, dark illusions that had danced across the walls, through his head, all put to rest.
"I know. And if you do, I'm 'myself' enough now that I can ask why before I kick your ass or cry about it"
"Good," Axel smiled. "Good."
The seventh time happened under the full moon, with an audience of terrified employees working overtime bearing witness to an office row of epic proportions.
Roxas wasn't surprised that the fight happened, but he hadn't ever expected to see perfect, professional Saïx throw a computer monitor across the room, followed by one of the seventh floor's landlines. He ended up in such shock he couldn't move, not even when Axel dodged it and stormed across the room spitting threats of violence and arson at his childhood friend.
He couldn't remember what was said, except that it had very likely led to the end of Saïx and Axel's friendship. It had been dying for a while now, but Roxas—Roxas didn't feel like celebrating it, no matter how much he disliked Saïx. The man might've been harsh to him and Axel both, but he...he was losing someone he cared about, and Roxas could understand that.
It didn't stop him from charging over and smacking Saïx square across the jaw though.
By the end of the night all three of them were in a whole lot of shit. Gossip would spread like wildfire, and whether or not it could be contained to this company was a gamble at best. There'll be some shit on the workplace forums, but nothing Xemnas won't be able to deal with.
Roxas didn't really know if they'd have their jobs by the end of it though, but that wasn't his biggest concern.
The door to the lunch room opened and Axel entered. They'd each been cussed out by their company superiors—Saïx had been sent off to Xemnas after his turn, but Roxas had been given leave to wait for Axel. He had.
He didn't know what to say though, not when Axel sat down next to him and cried. His head was in his hands, shirt ripped, a nasty bruise purpling on his right cheek. He was quiet about it, but Roxas could still tell he was in tears, could feel the shakes against his body where he'd wrapped his arms around Axel.
"I didn't want this to happen, I didn't," he said. "He was my best friend, he was my first, my fucking first, and I just —I knew we were fucked but I—I—fuck!"
Axel it's—"
Axel shook his head so forcefully Roxas struggled to hold on. "It's my fault, it's my fault. Always—he always got me out of shit when we were kids, always covered for me even when I fucked up—set fire to the school lab, nearly blew my fingers with fireworks. We had this friend and she—she died, and she always talked about getting into business, changing the world from the top if she could—stupid I know but we believed her and when she died we were both broken, but we agreed to fulfill her dream together but—but it's changed him, changed us, it's won and I can't help him Roxas, I fucking ruin everything, I've always been the fuck up and he's always helped me and now it's my turn and we're just—fuck! I've lost him, I've lost him."
"I'm here for you," Roxas said, over and over because there was nothing else he could say. Not in the face of years of shared history and support going down the drain. "I'm here for you Axel."
And it made him think of their first meeting, out to get ice cream after Axel and Saïx had bickered. It made him think of their promise. I'll be there.
"I'm here for you," Roxas said again, and turned Axel so he could sob into the crook of his neck. "I'm here for you."
The eighth time they made love.
Roxas would never have said it like that though, if someone had asked. But in his heart he said it over and over. We made love, we made love, we made love.
It had happened at Axel's place, on his bed. The events leading up to it hadn't been the most romantic. They'd hugged when they met on the doorstep. Then it'd been just another date night with delivery take-out and movies and too much kissing. The most romantic thing had been the timing—the turning of winter to spring, trees outside blossoming, the breezes warm. It'd been so ordinary otherwise.
And then they'd been grinding on the couch, moving to the bed, something lit inside them.
Positions hadn't mattered. "I want to do this again, every way, you in me, me in you, all the fucking time," Axel growled, pressed kisses down Roxas's throat. "But I want to take care of you this time. Let me take care of you, Roxas. Promised I'd be there for you."
"I don't think that promise included this," Roxas laughed, moaned.
"It does now. Maybe it did then. I did think you were cute."
Axel had taken him slow and gentle, then rough and fast, and all the while Roxas had given himself over to it.
They went to sleep that night well and truly tangled in each other, fires sated, hearts contented.
The ninth time had been the result of an argument. If pressed Roxas thought he could remember what, but without that pressure? He'd forgotten.
He'd walked out in a huff, forgot his umbrella, and been caught amidst skyscrapers and pouring spring rains. Water danced off sign posts and cars, dashed down the streets into the gutters. Roxas should've gone back, but he hadn't, instead found a fancy high-rise with some big stairs and an awning and hunkered down.
Already soaked, it hadn't made much of a difference, but at least he was no longer getting 'rained' on by skidding cars as well as the sky.
He thought he'd spend the night out, listen to the music boutique down the street blare its songs, but ten minutes later Axel appeared with an enormous jacket, two umbrellas, and a thermos of hot tea.
"I don't care," he'd said. "Just come home Roxas. It's raining cats and fucking dogs, and I miss you. Please?"
Roxas had gone home, and they'd sorted out the issue so well and good nothing but the memory of the rain and that skyscraper had ever come back to haunt him.
The tenth meeting was an anniversary. Not anything super special, just an excuse to celebrate two, maybe three months together.
They'd gone out to dinner, danced, then come home and had wild sex on the couch. A hot shower and then bed had been agreed upon, but then Axel received a phone call. Work-related, likely important considering a new business deal he'd been sorting out.
When he'd come back though Roxas had sat up, the expression on Axel's face like a storm warning.
"Roxas," he said, "do you still think about leaving Organization XIII?"
What had followed had been a tense, difficult discussion. Roxas hadn't realized just what had been going on behind the scenes, really. As the Thirteenth he hadn't had to deal with most of it, hadn't focused on it.
But the pressure on Axel had increased, and Saïx had been pulling shit behind the curtains to make it harder for him now that they'd had their friend divorce. Axel's latest deal had been totally gutted, and Axel was tired of it. It'd been the third time that month.
"I'm kind of sick of it all anyway. I want to try something smaller, something...more me. I went into the business with Saïx because I thought we could climb the ladder and make it better. But we were idiots, and now I just...I don't want to be a part of this world anymore. Do you?"
Roxas didn't.
"So...you think it's time to go?" He asked. "Time to gamble on something better?"
"Yeah," Axel said, and hugged him. "Time to go."
The eleventh time was short but sweet, perhaps the shortest and sweetest of them all.
Roxas trudged back from an unsuccessful job interview. Leaving Organization XIII—and getting on their bad side doing so—had left a permanent stain on his records. He didn't regret it. It felt good to be free, away from a company that had become increasingly toxic to work for.
Still he wished it weren't so hard to find a new job that wasn't part-time. His failure hung over him, tiny rain clouds pelting him with droplets of, you're a nobody again you're a nobody again you're a nobody again.
Then he opened the door to his now shared home with Axel and—flowers. A massive bouquet.
"Oh!" Axel's face appeared over the top of the bouquet. "You're back early. I was gonna meet you at the bus stop."
"With...these?" Roxas stared.
"Yeah, they're for you."
"What for?"
"Nothing really. You're here, I love you, that sort of thing."
Roxas took the bouquet in hand, lip trembling.
"Thanks Axel."
A kiss. "Don't mention it."
The twelfth time was accompanied by greater success than expected. A storm raged outside and yet, when Roxas opened the door to let in a soaking Axel, there was nothing but bright cheer and warm embraces.
"I got it, I got the job!" He exclaimed, laughed giddily when Roxas tried to lift and spin him (he failed, but neither of them cared much).
"That's awesome Axel!" He said, twirling his sopping wet boyfriend around the room.
Then lightning struck.
The first thing that happened was the power went out, dousing them in darkness. The second was that Roxas and Axel both tripped on the rug, went toppling onto the floor in a mess of limbs and laughter.
Just barely there was light, seeping in from the window. One of their digital clocks flashed the time, five in the evening.
They could've worried about the power or talked about the job Axel had just obtained. They could've talked about how the spring rains refused to let up, and about the rumble of thunder in the background warning that the storm was just overhead.
Instead the ground against each other on the floor in the darkness. Wet clothes were dragged off bodies, Roxas grabbing hold of Axel's hips and thrusting against him, building heat between them. They kissed, tongues pushed into mouths, and Roxas slid his fingers inside Axel.
They fucked on the living room floor, all moans and whimpers. They kept at it until two hours later when the power came back on.
"Wow," Axel said, a wet mess for different reasons than when he'd first walked in the door.
"Wow," Roxas agreed. "Well done Axel."
"Well done Axel indeed," Axel grinned, and wiggled his eye brows.
Roxas laughed.
The thirteenth time, Roxas came home from his job and fell straight into Axel's arms.
Of all the times to remember he didn't know why this one. There was nothing particularly special about it. His morning shift had ended, and Axel didn't have another shift for a couple of days—he worked nights anyway, at the local adult shop. He'd entered the door to Axel's embrace, danced awkwardly around the room still hugging as he dumped keys and slipt off his shoes. They'd collapsed on the couch, giggling.
Axel'd bought Sea Salt Ice Cream from McDuck's Parlor, and Roxas had acquiesced to being spoon-fed on the couch. It'd been embarrassing, but he sort of liked being spoilt.
And then Roxas remembered.
"It's our anniversary," he said, "of the day we first met.
"What, you forgot?" Axel laughed. "Figures. But hey, why'd you think I bought the ice cream?"
"We get Sea Salt all the time!"
"We get Sea Salt," Axel said, and kissed him on the nose, "when I feel like we need something special."
They bumped foreheads gently, and only parted so Axel could poke another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. It was painfully dorky, the whole affair. Roxas loved it.
"Can I be cheesy for a second?"
"Sure babe," Axel grinned.
"You're the light of my life," he said, entirely serious.
"I know. You're mine too."
"Promise?" Roxas grinned.
"Promise."
The two of them lounged the rest of the day away, leaving the couch for nothing and no one—except the pizza guy, whom had certain privileges. (He supplied dinner, and looked shockingly familiar as well. Though none of them had asked if they'd known each other, Roxas had thought perhaps, once upon a time, the guy had delivered to two Organization suits laughing like lunatics).
"Feels like a day of remembered meetings," Axel announced, as they sat back down and ate pizza.
"Yeah," Roxas agreed. "It really does. Remembered meetings—the day I met the love of my life," and Roxas raised his pizza high, "and also the day I met you Axel."
Roxas knew he deserved the serving of foot he got with his pizza, but he didn't regret it.
Axel's smile was rather pretty after all.
The fourteenth time they met was outside a pet shop. They entered for ten minutes, spoke to the lovely red-haired girl with Kairi on her nametag, and came out with two Labrador puppies—one pale gold, one black.
"What are naming them?" Axel asked.
"Hm," Roxas bit his lip. "The black one's Xion."
"Xion huh? Then...Naminé for the gold."
"That's pretty."
"She's pretty," Axel grinned, and smooshed his nose against her tiny puppy one.
They walked home with their puppies, house already prepared for the new arrivals. They played and played, and when the girls were tuckered out the boys settled on the floor beside their tiny sleeping bodies, and talked.
"I was thinking of visiting home," Roxas said. "I want them to meet you, meet my boyfriend."
"But you're worried?" Axel reached out, took his hand.
"Yeah. I'm...scared. I'll be seeing Sora face-to-face for the first time in over a year, meeting him and Riku as a couple, going back to that place where I was always just...secondary to everyone. But I want to go back. You'll go with me, won't you?"
"I promised to be there for you, didn't I?"
A moment, silent save for the sound of puppy snoring.
"Can you do something for me too Roxas?"
"Sure, what is it?"
"I want...I wanna meet up with Saïx—Isa. I got an email a couple of weeks ago from him. There's been some sort of fall out over at the Organization, and he's gotten away but...I think he's scared. Xemnas and him—I think they really had something going on. Whatever else, I don't think Xemnas wanted to hurt him, even if he maybe did in the end. They've split for now—might be Xemnas trying to protect them both until things calm down."
"You want to be there for him?" Roxas held his hand a little tighter.
"Yeah, I think so. I'm still pissed about the shit he pulled but...I think away from the Organization I can help him get better."
"Then I'll be there. I want to."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," Roxas smiled. "I promised."
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