Extra Cheese

"Alright everyone! Three, two, one—"

"Congratulations Roxas!"

The room exploded with light and sound. Glow sticks were waved, pocket laser points dancing on the walls. Axel's computer blared Lobster Sticks to Magnet, audio ripped from visual, the bright colors of his media player accompanying it. There was cheering and clapping too, the sort of mad noise a bunch of college kids made when celebrating the successes of a friend.

It was all nuts, really. How Axel had managed to cram everyone into their apartment, Roxas would never know. It was decently spacey when it was just the two of them. Now it was an absolute tin of sardines. Zexion and his crew were mostly to blame. Their LAN set-up took up half the living room, all that space stolen by a repurposed ping pong table decked in monitors and wires and all manner of other hardware.

But Roxas was happy. When Sora presented him with his drink of choice—an off-brand cola—he chugged it back. When Sora tried to life him up and spin him around, he let him. There was a no alcohol rule on the premise, but Sora had definitely put away a few before he'd arrived. Roxas didn't even care.

It probably helped that Sora's version of 'drunken touchy-feely' was all above the waist snuggles. More likely to get a mouthful of hair than a hand on the butt.

The rest of the gang were all singing to his victory too, holding up his big gold trophy. District Skate King, 2000, it read, catching the fluorescents and shining. A few years ago he'd never have expected so many people to be so into it, his big break. Now I can't even convince myself they're just here for a party.

Maybe that was why he felt a little ashamed though, that the part that mattered most to him was the pizza. Axel had ordered a tonne, but it was the three in the center that mattered—one cheese, one with 'the Works', and a half 'n' half Hawaiian and Meatlovers, with extra cheese. It was the one thing no one but the two of them would get.

It had Roxas grinning like a lunatic.

The whole party was brilliant. Roxas danced and sung, roughhoused and ate and drank. He cheered on Zex and Lex and Vex while the three of them tried to murder each other, then let Sora bully him into a few rounds of Struggle Fighter. Still, by his fourth lost Roxas found his heart seeking the familiar.

He rose, surrendered his seat on the couch to Xion. His lips quirked to see how excited she was—eager to kick Sora's ass for his honor, he hoped.

The noise had reached critical levels, but that wasn't so unusual for a college neighborhood at this time of year. He doubted the cops would show. Indeed, the only flash of red and blue was him, Axel, hair all wild and navy singlet hanging too low on his chest.

Roxas couldn't complain. His eyes dropped to his collarbones. Or I won't, anyway.

Axel must've noticed him across the room, because he waved, dodged a conversation with Demyx, and claimed a corner of the kitchen for the two of them. In his hands, drinks—more off-brand cola. Roxas reached out and took his one, smiling.

"Having a good time?" Axel asked.

"Yeah. Thanks for inviting everyone, setting it up."

"No problem. I'll handle clean up tomorrow too, so you sleep in."

"That you being romantic?"

Axel elbowed him, jostled both their drinks. "Shut up. Maybe."

"Appreciate it."

They drunk in silence, comfortable, though the rest of the house was still chaos. Axel nearly dumped his drink on the both of them when Lex fist pumped the air, action shocking because he made no sound. A squeal of delight across the room confirmed Xion's theft of Sora's crown. The wet smack of lips warned that someone had snuck off to the bathroom to make out—neither had any idea who.

It was amazing. Roxas couldn't keep the smile off his face.

"What you thinking about?" Axel asked.

"Just...everything," Roxas said, "how I get to be here right now, watching our idiot friends fuck up our apartment, with a championship trophy under my belt and an interview next week and—and—aw fuck—"

Here come the tears. Axel put an arm around him, let him sob into his singlet. No one commented, though Roxas knew he wasn't exactly subtle. He was so glad they understood.

"I've got a future Axel," he choked out. "I don't—I don't know what I did to get here, to deserve you but—"

His words were cut off with a kiss, Axel tilting his head back to get some tongue in there. "You deserve everything Roxas," he murmured, "so shut up and let it come to you okay?"

"Okay," Roxas said, laughed as Axel kissed his nose, "I guess I'm just caught up in all these memories. Planning the future but thinking about the past, y'know? And yes," Roxas put a finger to Axel's lips, "where I am today is all thanks to you, Pizza Boy."

Axel snorted, kissed his finger, then kissed Roxas when he took it away. "Give yourself some credit, dork. I remember you had a pretty big role to play in your own life. Besides, I wouldn't be so stuck on you if you weren't the magnet to my lobster."

"Ugh," but Roxas laughed. He kept on doing so until a question welled up in him, overwhelming and important as the sudden influx of memories. "Do you remember the first time we met, Axel?"

Axel's eyes crinkled, "Course I do. You think I wouldn't have something that important memorized?"

Roxas smiled, pressed closer. "Nah, course you would."

You wouldn't have picked those pizzas otherwise, dork.

 

---

 

The first time they met was at the Beginning of the End.

It hadn't really felt like that to Roxas, of course, him being empty at the time. If he'd had to describe it later, he'd say it was a 'Used Water Bottle' sort of empty—drained of all purpose, only a plastic shell remaining. Worth nothing, really. Just a waste.

Still, there'd been enough life left in him that, at six o'clock on some day in 1994, he'd finally been forced to accept that a) he was not going to be completing his paper on time which, b) meant he was going to fail his course. There were also other things to consider, such as c) he fucking hated this course, d) he had no idea what he wanted to do besides this course, and e) he couldn't afford to take another course anyway—not without parental support.

It was go home and beg, or accept his fate as a degreeless nobody. Roxas; a failure yet again.

He'd sat there and stared at his monitor for a while, cursor blinking. I am alone and truly fucked, was the thought that crossed through his mind.

It was followed by, Well, I don't have to be alone.

The Pizza Planet flyer on his fridge informed him that he could get one traditional pizza for half price if ordered Now!!! So Roxas sat down with the menu, stared at the glossy paper as he read option after option after option.

He cried.

He didn't quite understand why. It was just pizza. His only struggle was choosing which one he wanted.

He rung up and ordered a cheese.

The wait for his pizza was perhaps the most empty moment of his life. He hadn't bothered to dress properly, lounging in his baggy off-white shirt and shorts. Nothing but useless thoughts in his mind, their only accompaniment the muted images flashing across the television screen. When Friends came on he turned away, the clatter of the remote slipping through his fingers loud in his apartment. 

The doorbell rang. Almost, he didn't answer it.

His stomach growled.

He just wanted to talk to someone.

He got up and answered the door.

The last thing he expected upon opening it was a guy at least four years older, pushing six foot with a head full of hair so wild Roxas wanted to ask if he needed directions to the nearest mosh pit. His black polo was standard, but his ripped jeans certainly weren't. What drew Roxas in most were his eyes though; bright green, accented with purple liner. They went well with his facial tats—stylized tears on both cheeks.

Definitely not the tired, greasy teenager he'd been expecting.

"Hey there, got a delivery for Roxas Skye—a single cheese?" The guy said, one eyebrow raised. "Why a single cheese?"

And for some unknown reason Roxas answered. "Because it's just like me."

Of course, the moment it was out there some little part of him—the part that remembered human emotions—died inside. It begged him to slam the door, leap across the room, curl up on the couch and scream.

Who the fuck says shit like that? Who!?

But the pizza guy, whose name tag read Axel in bold, black letters, only laughed. "How can a person be like a cheese pizza? That's like, impossible. No one's that bland. I mean, don't get me wrong, cheese pizza is great when you want something simple—comfort food, y'know?—but it's not a real flavor and everyone knows it."

Roxas just stared at Axel, hoping maybe he'd take a hint.

He didn't. "Okay, guess that's the wrong tack for you. S'ppose some folks out there really are cheese pizzas. Hmm. Ah, I know, how about you tell me about it?"

"Huh?" Roxas blinked. "Wait, sorry, what? Don't you have work to do?"

"Nah, shift's just ended and it's a quiet night anyway. I'll give my brother a call, he's the manager, and then we can sit down and eat this cheese and figure shit out, alright?"

"I didn't know pizza delivery guys doubled as psychs," Roxas frowned.

"Oh nah, I can't offer anything like that, but surely talking to me's gotta suck less than sitting on your own on a Tuesday night eating a cheese?" Axel shrugged. "Or hey, maybe that's some people's jam I guess, but I 'unno, is it yours? Really?"

It felt like a very important question. Roxas didn't really know why. Is there really any sense inviting the pizza delivery guy in for a life talk?

Was there really any sense in seeking a medical degree when you didn't want to have anything to do with medicine? Was there really any sense in living alone in an apartment with no friends or hobbies or even a job, solely to try and appear independent? Was there really any sense trying to prove yourself to a family who was quite happy to ignore you solely because you weren't your fucking cousin?

Was there any sense at all to the great, gaping emptiness that was Roxas, really?

Nah.

"Alright," he decided, "You can come in."

"Awesome!" Axel exclaimed, "just give me a sec to call my brother."

It was bizarre, leading the pizza guy through his apartment. Would he judge the tiny plastic table and chairs and how they sounded when they scraped against the lino? Would he judge the shitty green carpet, the beige walls, the sheer blandness of the whole affair; kitchen, lounge room, a short hall with two bathroom, a bedroom, and a closet. No sign of decorations or being lived-in save the muted television.

"Er, nice to have your own place," Axel said finally, looking around.

"Yeah," Roxas said, and sat.

Axel gave him a side eye but otherwise said nothing, just flipped open the pizza box. He ate with gusto for someone with such strong opinions on the blandness of cheese. The fact he hadn't paid for it didn't seem to be a concern either, Roxas noted, as he nibbled on his own slice.

"So, you're... Roxas yeah?" Axel asked, after devouring four slices.

"Yeah, and you're Axel."

"Wait, how—oh right! Name tag."

Roxas nodded.

"Okay. So," Axel began, gesturing with his hand, "what's the deal with the cheese pizza thing?"

"I dunno. You were the one going on about it."

"Hah, funny. But seriously, what's up with that? Like maybe I'm being too pushy, I'm sure you can't be thrilled to be having this conversation with the pizza guy, but the whole 'cheese pizza is me' thing? What's with that?"

"Why do you care? Don't you have your own shit to deal with?" Roxas was genuinely curious.

"Nah, I'm sorted. Few years back? Not so much. Wouldn't have given you the time of day then. But things change, just gotta find the right job, meet the right person, take the right chance yeah? If you gotta dream, act, and even if you don't gotta dream, you're probably better off making a move anyway, got it memorized?"

His words, and the hand actions he performed with them, were so ridiculous Roxas couldn't help the "Hah!" that welled up in him. It burst from his chest, tittered out in little giggling bubbles—like the fizz in his off-brand cola, all he had in the fridge. "That's so cheesy."

"Eh, maybe, but it made you smile right?" Axel grinned. "S'good look on you."

Nothing about how he said it was flirtatious, and Roxas—Roxas was happy to take it as it was. I'm not ready to even think about relationships right now.

Later, he'd realize he needed his New Beginning for that.

"Okay," Roxas managed, when he'd calmed down. "You're right. I'd like someone to talk to. It is kind of weird that it's you, but whatever. I haven't got anyone else to talk to so you'll do."

"Really? No one else."

"The only other people are like...my cousin and his friends back home, and this one guy in my med course—well not my med course anymore."

"Oh?"

"'Oh' what, which part?"

"Well, all of it."

"I don't feel right talking to my cousin and his friends about this. The guy in my old med course is nice, but we're not really friends." Still, he appreciated that Zexion gave him the time of day at all, when it was obvious he'd rather spend it studying or going to LANs with his buddies Lex and Vexen.

"And—he med course thing?"

"I've failed it, just now. Like tonight."

"Oh ouch," Axel said, picked up another pizza slice, "but hey, not the end of the world. I mean, I failed my med degree. Dropped out, got a job delivering pizzas. I know everyone thinks it sucks but I kinda like it. More than I'd like a med degree anyway."

He said it so casually. I failed my med degree.

"It doesn't bother you? Failing?"

"Well it did at the time, but I hated it. How about you? Did you like it? Is that why you're moping?"

"No, I...didn't like it. I'm only doing it because..."

"Because?" Axel prompted.

"I," Roxas paused, "I wanted to beat my cousin at something. Be better than him, in some way. I thought a medical degree would help me do that, be better. But I—I don't hate it, but I don't really like it either."

"Oh boy, good thing you fucked up and ordered pizza instead then."

It was the most ridiculous thing he'd said so far. Good thing you failed your expensive medical degree. Roxas was just lucky he wasn't in debt—had scraped together savings from his part time job back home and his college fund to avoid it.

But maybe Axel had a point. Had he really wanted to spend his life in medicine?

"I..." Roxas tried, hesitated.

"Yeah?" Axel cocked his head, gestured with his pizza. Roxas found his eyes drawn to his wrists, his hands. Black sweatbands, the same color as his nails.

"I don't know what to do," he admitted. "I just don't feel like I've got...anything. Friends, hobbies, jobs, a future. I feel like I'm a failure. A...nobody."

There grew a warmth in Roxas's stomach when Axel didn't answer immediately. Despite his flippant approach to most of the conversation, he seemed to be really thinking about it. That mattered to Roxas, though he wasn't sure why. When have I ever mattered?

"Sorry," Axel began, licking his lips. It seemed more a nervous gesture than anything to do with food. "You sounded like a friend of mine—a couple of them, actually. I should get you three in contact. But before that, let's deal with this."

"Deal with it?"

"Or talk about it, at least," Axel shrugged, reached out for his cup and swirled the drink inside around. The sort that needed something to do with his hands, it seemed. "Listen, kid. It really sucks being where you are now, but at least you've figured something out."

"What?"

"That none of this is making you happy." Axel leant across the table, very serious all of a sudden. "You need to go out and try things—new things. Quit this business with your cousin. I don't know if he's nice or mean or encourages it or doesn't even realize what's going on, but don't make your life about beating him. The people who chose him? They aren't gonna change their minds for you—and the sort of people who ditch him when you finally show him up will do the same thing to you when you fuck up, and you're human right? So you'll fuck up."

Roxas flinched. The words stung, really bad actually, but nothing in Axel's eyes indicated cruelty. He's just being real with me.

"Me and some friends right," Axel continued, and oh boy, Roxas realized he was about to get his life story. "Us three? We screwed up really bad. Me, him, her, we were trying to compete with this other group, wanted to be the best in everything. Hobbies, degrees, jobs, futures, wealth. I was a massive, scheming, lying prick back then. And then one day I just looked at myself and thought, shit, y'know, I don't want this. My friends? They weren't my friends anymore, and I hated everything. So I just quit. Got new friends, got Reno to get me a job at the pizza shop, quit my med degree. Just went out there and figured out what I actually liked, experimented y'know?"

Axel sat back, took a breath, and finished, "And that's what you need to do now. Take some down time, experiment, live a little. You got the money to stay in this apartment? Then you've got the money to figure out what you actually wanna do with your life, so do it."

Roxas sat silent, struggling to take everything in. The guy, his hair, his eyes, his gestures, the empty pizza box on the table (had he really only got one slice of his own pizza?), the words.

Everything, turning over and over in his head.

Roxas didn't cry, but he must've looked a bit broken anyway, because Axel's face fell. Before he could speak though, apologize, comfort, taunt, whatever, Roxas said, "What do I do then?"

And oh, his voice cracked.

"What do you want to do?" Axel asked.

"I dunno," Roxas shrugged helplessly. "I've spent my whole life in Sora's shadow. I don't know what to do or where I'm going. I don't know how to begin."

And Axel—Axel stood up, walked around the table, grabbing the off-brand cola and both their glasses, and tugged at Roxas until he stood. He walked them both to the lounge room. He dumped his burdens on the low table, knelt, and rummaged through Roxas's meager cupboards. He got out his SNES, his Mario Kart and Street Fighter cartridges both, and the two controllers Roxas had. One yellow, one red.

"Let's start with this then," he said, and plugged them in.

It was amazing. For the first time in a while Roxas went wild, felt all the stress from his stupid medical paper burst free and disappear, and all the while Axel was loud, hilarious, ridiculous as he cussed, raced, fought, screamed his losses and his victories.

When they were done they lounged with their colas and talked about nothing. Axel was happy to carry the conversation; talked about his beliefs, all the tiny glimpses he caught of people's lives as a pizza delivery guy, how much he liked his metalhead music, his grunge, the odd rhythm and blues or pop tune. He talked about his friends, even his brother, and about how he hadn't seen his parents in years.

"Kicked me out when I brought my first boyfriend home," he said, "never looked back. That guy and me, we didn't last, but it was fun. No regrets."

"I'm glad you're okay now," Roxas said, and then, for some reason, "I don't know what my sexuality is."

"Really?" Axel said. "That's fine. You've got a future Roxas. You can figure it out."

It was a good three hours later, when the clock read ten-thirty-five, when Roxas saw Axel off at the door. He'd already disappeared by time Roxas remembered to ask about his number, his email, his address, anything.

But something in him felt lighter.

This is the End, he decided. The End of who I've been.

He just wished he'd been able to thank Axel.

Well, maybe he'd get lucky the next time he ordered a pizza.

 

---

 

He didn't get lucky the second time he ordered a pizza. A different man, Rude, handed over his cheese with absolute professionalism. It would've been an entirely average encounter if not for the man's name and the fact that he happened to be wearing sunglasses at seven o'clock at night.

The third time though, a whole month later, he got lucky. He opened the door and his heart nearly punched its way out of his chest at the sight of bright red hair.

The first words out of his mouth were, "Did you want to come in?"

As it turned out, Axel did. However, he could only get off work for an hour, and only because his brother pulled a few strings. Still Roxas was glad to have any time at all with his bizarre one-time pizza psychotherapist.

He's responsible for all the good in my life now. I want to share that with him. I want to talk to him.

They sat on the couch this time. Axel looked around, and Roxas hoped he noticed the posters on his walls now, the knick-knacks and trinkets scattered on his furniture, the increased number of video games in his lounge room cupboard. He even hoped he noticed the ugly blue rug he'd got to go with his ugly green carpet.

Most of all, he hoped he noticed his fashion. He'd nicked a bit of everything—mixed grunge and jock and punk and goth and hoped it looked okay.

He let Axel flip the pizza box open again, watched his brows rise. "You got...wow, is that everything? The Works?"

"Yeah," Roxas smiled. "Figured I should try it, y'know?"

It was covered in everything, from ground beef to pineapple to olives, anchovies and peppers and mushrooms and bacon, with three different sorts of sauce, five different sorts of cheese, and a thick, fat crust.

They took a slice, a bite, then set their pieces back down.

"Wow," Roxas said.

"Wow," Axel agreed.

"Guess trying to do everything all at once isn't really the way to go?" Roxas asked.

"Not for most people," Axel said, and knocked back a glass of off-brand cola.

It made sense. It was also what Roxas wanted to talk about. Still he twiddled his thumbs and avoided it. Axel was almost a complete stranger. When he'd walked out the door a month ago there'd been no assurance Roxas would ever see him again. But I wanted to. I can't waste my chance now.

"I wanted to thank you," he began. "I quit my med course properly. I've been getting out, trying new things. I don't know if I want to keep going to college, but there're a lot of clubs around here both affiliated and unaffiliated with campus so there's plenty to do. I've been to Zex's LAN parties, checked out this local music club, and—oh, there's a club for skateboarding, rollerblading, that sort of thing. I've had a go at pretty much everything by now, just...trying to balance it all." He laughed. "I even joined the Pirate Club for a day."

"The Pirate Club?"

"Yeah. The weirdest thing is the guy who runs it doesn't even talk like a pirate. He talks like some surfer frat bro made love to your weird hunter weed uncle."

"Oh, I think I know that guy! Xigbar!"

"Yeah!"

Their smiles were huge. Something about that shared expression made Roxas feel light, a bit dizzy. It wasn't a bad feeling.

"So you got out there," Axel said, "that's good. You're doing a lot though. Sure it ain't a bit too much? Found anything other than Pirate Club to drop?"

"Yeah. I figured out I'm not a big fan of getting high. Tried some of Dem's pot browns and er, not for me."

"Oh boy, those are pretty strong. Probably a bad place to start."

"You know Dem too?"

"Yeah. Makes sense though, I mean we live in the same area, tried the same college, probably the same clubs. All local, yeah?"

Roxas nodded, "Yeah."

Their conversation turned to silly comments and idle mutterings then, before Axel finally remembered to pass on his friends' phone numbers. Their names were Xion and Naminé, and apparently both girls had been through some hard times earlier in the year.

"In a good place now though," Axel said. "Saw real therapists, not me."

"Aw, you did a decent job I think, for a weird pizza delivery guy who asked a complete stranger if they could hang out and talk about life."

Axel stuck out his tongue.

It was when he was just about to that Roxas grabbed his arm. He didn't know why. I could've just asked him to stop. How desperate am I?

"I really gotta go man," Axel said. "I mean I'd love to skip work but I already owe my brother for this and—"

"I know," Roxas interrupted. "I just...I wanted to ask, do you think I'm doing okay? Like I'm having fun for the first time in ages but I still don't really know what I'm doing. It's all a bit much, and I still don't feel like I can call my cousin and like, hang out. It's just all so..."

Axel stepped back in, hands already raised into 'flip-flapping' position. Roxas didn't know why he found it so endearing. Maybe I'm just grateful he's willing to talk to me.

"Alright, listen, first things first, it'll take a while. You're in the 'go nuts' stage, okay? For most people that starts to feel like shit after a while—there are true nutters who can do it their whole lives, kinda magical really—and that'll happen to you too. Until then though, just figure yourself out, don't stress too much. Remember life's like Monopoly, you get to 'Pass Go Nuts' more than once, so don't freak out if you start to feel stuck again. For now though? Just do everything until you've had enough, and then like Pirate Club and weed you can ditch it and move on. It's all about figuring out what you want, okay?"

Roxas nodded. Axel clapped him on the shoulder.

"Call your cousin too. Invite him and his friends around, have 'em meet your new pals. Have fun, party a bit. Learn to stop comparing yourself to him and just chill. Don't call your 'rents or his 'rents—this about you guys, not them. And remember, and this is most important, you're not failing Roxas. You're just doing what you need to do to figure yourself out, and that's fine. Get it memorized, okay?"

"Yeah," and Roxas laughed. "You know Axel, I'm really glad you decided being a pizza guy's better than having a medical degree."

"Yeah," Axel agreed, and looked him up and down, "me too."

He was halfway down the stairs when Roxas remember the other most important thing he had to do and ran after him.

"Hey Axel!"

He turned and glanced back up the stairwell. "Yeah?"

"Can I have your number?"

And Axel's smile was like the sun when he answered, "Sure."

 

---

 

From then on Axel and Roxas met all the time. They went to Zexion's LAN parties together, sat on the couch and watched as their nerd friends seethed and swore. They dropped by the music club to see Demyx. They ran into Xigbar and Xaldin on the streets, the former often loitering around the local pubs, the latter leading the rest of the track team on their runs. A few times he even got Axel to come over and meet his cousin, Sora, and his friends, and they all hung out together. It was nice.

More often though, they hung out with Xion and Naminé. The two girls were excellent fun, both passionate in their own way. They did art and made jewellery out of shells, and talked endlessly about psychology and the human condition. Sometimes they got a bit creepy about it, but then they'd bring up karate classes or Mario, or Xion would say, "Please don't make me listen to Running Up That Hill again Naminé," and he'd laugh.

But more than that he treasured his time alone with Axel. When they lounged together, watching whatever flick they'd picked up at Blockbuster, or when they cussed each other out over a game, or when Axel slept over the night and they discussed all those things you could only speak of in the early hours of the morning.

They'd talk about how Roxas was finally rebuilding his relationship with Sora, how he was actually getting close to his cousin's friends, how he was starting to think about what he wanted to do. That he was starting to think about his sexuality and what that meant for his future. How he'd discovered he wasn't big on drugs and alcohol for real, but didn't mind when Vexen dug out his vintage  wine collection or Demyx lit up after a session.

He figured out his personality, peeled back the anger, the depression and the darkness, and also the wonder, the joy and the light. He found his sense of humor and discovered some of the things that made him really happy, like Axel's rambles on all the bits of trivia he found interesting—some surprising sprinkling of the scientific and the sentimental, mingling together as he talked about colors and the sun.

"Know-it-all," he'd teased. Axel had just stuck his feet in Roxas's lap and laughed.

Best of all, Roxas learnt about Axel. He learnt that he didn't really have a dream anymore—not after what happened between him and his friends—but more a desire to live simply, just be with the people he cared about. How he wasn't ashamed to love his dorky pizza job, about how he once blew up a science lab as a freshman, about how he still loved fire (though far less recklessly).

About how ever since he'd grown up, grown into himself, he'd hated seeing people make sad, zombie faces. How he always wanted to reach out just in case they'd reach back. How he was happy to be a weirdo and a clown if that helped someone laugh.

And Roxas—Roxas could feel something building between them. Between him, and the guy who gave him a future.

"Nah," Axel said, when he mentioned that last part one day, "I couldn't do that. People can only give themselves a future, so I guess it must be all you buddy."

"No," Roxas shook his head.

"Alright, maybe I helped a little. But I'm like, your campy gay fairy godmother or whatever. I magic up a dress, but you gotta get the balls to go to the ball, y'know? And you have."

 "Okay fine, I can accept that."

"Good," Axel grinned, "cause it's the truth."

Still a part of Roxas was waiting for something, wanted it to happen before he tried pushing their relationship forward. It came to him whenever he rung up and ordered a pizza, when he waited eagerly to see who was at the door. It was never Axel though. A Rude, a Leon, even a Cloud, but no Axel.

But eventually there was a third time.

It had to be planned of course. I'm beginning again, Roxas thought, not giving up before I give it a go, trying things out—that's how I'll get my future.

So he rung up, asked a few favors from the (strangely familiar) guy on the other end to make sure it was someone with wild red hair that greeted him at the door.

He wasn't surprised then, when he opened it fifteen minutes later to Axel.

"You just getting off?" He asked.

"Yeah, Reno gave me permission beforehand actually. Kinda weird."

But he didn't complain, just shrugged into the change of clothes he left at Roxas's.They sat down on the couch, and then as was tradition, Axel flipped open the pizza box.

"Oh, a half 'n' half! Hawaiian, Meatlovers—with extra cheese?"

Roxas took a slice, bit into it. It tasted good, right.

"Why this flavor in particular? I've heard from the other guys at the shop that you've tried almost all of them now."

"I..." Roxas paused. "Don't laugh too much?"

"I won't laugh at all, if you want."

"Okay." Roxas took a breath, knew Axel wouldn't treat this as silly even if it was. "It feels right for me. It's a bit dark and a bit bright. The Hawaiian—it's sort of cute right? And it bursts on your tongue, a bit sweet. But the Meatlovers, the sauce is sort of smoky, and it's—well of course it's meaty but y'know I mean it sorta...kinda..."

Axel let him trail off. Roxas was relieved to see no judgement on his face as he listened to him try to summarize his personality in pizza toppings. His only comment, "And the extra cheese?"

"Oh. That's you."

"That's me?"

"Yeah. It's...what you do to me. Make me cheesy."

The silence stretched to five seconds, and Roxas wanted to run. Ten—and Axel leant forward.

Roxas met him halfway.

They pushed against each other, grinding on Roxas's couch. Hands went under shirts, invoked gasps and moans. Roxas's fingers slipt into Axel's pants first, slid down beneath the waistband of his briefs and, damn, Axel was so hot. "Fuck."

"Yeah I'd like to," Axel hissed.

Roxas laughed.

When they were naked Roxas climbed into Axel's lap, legs on either side, and ground down against his crotch. Hands gripped his ass, a question asked. Roxas took Axel's cock in hand, positioned himself, and sank down, then rode it until his legs gave out and Axel flipped him over and fucked him into the couch.

Later, in bed, Roxas found the rest of his courage and said, "I want you."

"Is that what you wanted to say?" Axel wiggled his eyebrows.

"Fine. Have your extra cheese," Roxas said, and smacked him with a pillow. Then he bent down and kissed him. "I love you. I want to live with you. I want a future with you."

"With the pizza man? Is this a porno?" But the joke didn't work so well when Axel was bright red, flustered.

Roxas said nothing, just smiled and waited. It wasn't a surprise when he succeeded in getting exactly what he wanted.

A whispered, "I love you too."

 

---

 

Roxas looked out on the party, still going strong with no signs of stopping. There were roars, cheers, wild cussing as games were lost and won, pizza consumed, conversations had. Making out was happening in the bathroom still, and Roxas was just glad he had a second one.

But that was a background thought, because really all he could think about was how happy he was to be here. He snuggled closer to Axel, felt his arm come up around him. They were quiet for a while, listening as Axel's playlist looped back around to the start.

"So is this Lobster Sticks to Magnet thing going to be a part of our life now?" He asked. Something new to be carried into our future?

"You laughed at it! You thought it was funny, and it's very 'us', isn't it?"

"Only you're cheesy enough to try and relate a dumb flash video to our relationship."

"I'm sure it's not that weird, plus you like my cheese anyway!"

"Yeah, you're my cheesy lobster."

"Your pizza man?"

"My pizza man." Roxas reached up and kissed him, good and properly this time, "And this magnet boy's stuck on you."

"Wow," Axel managed when they were done, a bit breathless. "Feels like I should toast to that."

Roxas grabbed a couple of glasses and some off-brand cola. "Toast to something else maybe?"

"Fine," Axel grinned, waited until Vexen's shrieking rage over at the LAN table died down. Then with one hand wrapped around Roxas's and the other around his drink, he spoke.

"To us. Both our pasts—"

Roxas leant forward and kissed his cheek, "—and our futures."