Roulette Room

A rambling space, for rambling thoughts, as the mind disintegrates.

Newest entries at the top, oldest at the bottom. If the page gets too long, I will create a new one and archive the old (accessible via a link on this page).

06 May 2025

I changed my AO3 email recently, and it seems now I can't comment for a while (it keeps telling me my comments are spam, and no matter what I do I cannot make them not spam. I have at least four people (one who left seven comments) to either reply to or comment on. Ahhhhhh!

For now, I suppose if they browse my profile or blog they might see this? I'm not ignoring you! ;___;

24 Mar 2025

And now looking below, I feel like my earlier ramble may have been too harsh. I do have critical views on the way love is spoken about and presented (I think people who experience love are too certain that it's what makes them 'good', while people who do not experience love are pathologized and treated terribly). With that said, I don't seek to treat any particular emotion as good or bad or essential or whatever.

Anyhow, the site is just about to be done! I've decided I will be linking it to my AO3 and DW, which makes me nervous. I suppose most people who discover it will be able to click off the page if they don't like it. I just wish I could trust everyone to do that. But so many years of work...finally coming to an end! Of course, the site will continue to be updated, but to have reached this particular point of 'done-ness' is nice.

There's still no reflections on their page, though. I just don't feel like I can write longform thoughts well enough. But do I have to write them well? Can people approach my thoughts as interesting oddities, or just recognize them as ponderings? Incomplete, hoping (probably foolishly) that the paranoia isn't warranted...

I'll consider it. But for now, it'll remain a bit bare.

07 Mar 2025

The main site is almost done. I just need to finish off the descriptions on the art pages. But that takes forever. I don't really know what to say, I guess. I certainly won't be checking for typos.

The reflections page is amusingly empty. I also think the unfinished post there about love gives a possibly incorrect impression. My perspective on it would have been significantly more critical, especially with regard to the way people employ the concept of love in all manner of contexts. I do not think of love as particularly essential.

I think I'm just hesitant to post longform thoughts anywhere. I don't want to have to edit and fuss over them, checking all possibly meanings. I don't want to have to make them coherent. Language and theory and such feel like traps. A lot of socially-defined things feel like traps, capturing you in boxes, denying your meanings, inadequate for anything.

I was going to say something else, but I forgot!

14 Jul 2024

Organizing a website is hard, and this isn't even a particularly 'tricky' website...

With that said, progress has been made! My aim for now will be to 'finish' the workfaqs/Guidance page, after which point I will consider the website to be in an 'RSS feedable' state. So after that point, I'll begin to collect (decent-sized) updates into an RSS alert. This means that when the art pages are updated with text and alt-text, that'll be alerted for.

Currently writing KH fic consistently again. Happy about that. Will hopefully have something to share by the end of the year. The HS AU has been delayed again, but hopefully actually writing regularly will remind me how to do it, and with that muscle trained once more I will be able to work at it. At the very least, next time I 'abandon' it, I should do so at the end or the very beginning of a scene.

Am not entirely happy with my 'brief statement', but for its purpose it will do.

Hope you are well.

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