Red Wine, White Wine

Red.

It was all Axel could see when he look in the mirror. His hair wild and frazzled, his forehead sweaty, his cheeks sharp and flushed—not with rouge, or not yet anyway. The flush spread down his neck and collar, joined with pretty red patterned silk and lace. It hugged his chest tight, then dropped away in loose, sheer scarlet all the way to his hips.

He'd never done this before. Oh sure, there'd been anniversary surprises; big bombastic parties with fireworks, quiet, classy dinners at Sunset Terrace, picnics and Struggle tournaments and sentimental evenings on the Clock Tower. He'd done a lot of things for Roxas - for the both of them, really. Their anniversaries had always been special, ever since he'd had the heart to want to make them special and a person he'd want to spend an anniversary with.

But he'd never done this.

The longer he looked, the more he realized that maybe there was a reason for that. Looking into lingerie had been like visiting a whole new world; colorful, chaotic and confusing. There'd been too many options to choose from and so very few designed to look good on someone like him.

Still, he'd decided to try. He was confident, y'know? Cocky in a charming way. He could pull off anything, whether it was a task, a trick, or an outfit. All you gotta do is trust me and I'll show you how it's done, got it memorized?

Axel put his hand on his hips, felt the bones protruding hard and skinny. You've been together for years. Roxas knows what you look like. Still his fingers trailed up over the sheer fabric of his babydoll, felt over the hard lines of his ribs, the flat planes of his chest—he'd never been broad, but perhaps the peace in their lives had left him slighter than he'd been before.

The tight band of lace around his chest did nothing for his neck and arms, entirely exposed. There weren't even spaghetti straps, not that they'd have done him any good. His collarbones were sharp, too sharp, and his shoulders simultaneously too wide and too small—all bones, no muscle. Without sleeves his arms looked gangly.

His legs were the same, or maybe worse. Thigh highs that should have gripped supple skin or thick muscle clung tight to nothing. If he hadn't known they were magicked he might have been shocked by the fact they managed to stay up at all when there was so little to hold on to.

He sighed. He'd hoped he'd be, well, a little more than this. Even with his hair unbrushed and face bare he'd hoped he'd look more—delectable, delicious, desirable. Any one of the three would do.

But nothing. All his apparent camp and charisma had abandoned him. Was it ever really there in the first place? For all his showmanship Axel doubted it. Just smoke and mirrors.

Green eyes stared back at him, tired.

Makeup. I should do makeup. At least cover the bags under my eyes.

More than that, he should just take the whole ensemble off; red lacy babydoll with its thick scarlet band around his chest, sheer silk showing off the rest of his stomach, panties in a matching color and style. It was supposed to be erotic, but he hadn't shaved downstairs and the fact the panties matched the color of his hair too just made the whole thing look that much more ridiculous.

That and the fact the bulge of his cock was still barely visible. Should've just bought a woman's pair. You'd never need a men's with your size.

He wanted to dismiss the thought. Fuck, but he and Roxas had already been through this. Roxas liked his size.

Except they'd never done anything like this, and somehow that brought everything back. All his anxiety, all his discomfort. It was a new vulnerability, a new chance to cock things up. I've already done that enough in my life, and yeah, I've got it memorized.

His reflection sneered back at him as he performed the usual pose that accompanied his catchphrase, expression slipping into one of mild disgust as his eyes flicked back over the rest of his body.

There were the thigh highs and well, he'd already fussed about them enough. They weren't much different from the rest of the outfit. Mostly sheer, thin bands of decorative lace at the top. Might've been cute on someone else.

Again, green eyes caught his in the mirror, tired. He sighed.

"Well you've got about an hour to come up with something else. Not every new world's a winner, right? I mean you thought you'd enjoy Wonderland but it was just a pain."

His reflection its agreement. It felt good to pretend it was a separate entity; not him, not his body, and definitely not a sign he was going nuts. His heart hammered at the thought. Yeah this was definitely a bad idea. Not even hair or makeup can fix this disaster.

A suit though. He could do a suit. He doubted he could get reservations for anything, but he'd picked up some cute cakes and champagne, and they had ice cream and pretzels and watermelon slices in the fridge. The traditional set, they called it. Their go-to for all their snacking needs. Could it pass for dinner? Probably. He could grab his suit from where it hung over the door, set up the fancy little table they used when they were eating in their apartment and wanted to feel civilized.

Yeah, sounds good. Let's do that.

He turned and the door opened.

"Hey Axel! I got off early and—"

Roxas stilled and Axel's heart stopped. Moments like these I get to remember I have one, I suppose. The thought kept him from hysterics.

There was a pause. The only sound was the soft shuffling of Axel bobbing from foot to foot. Too much nervous energy—how could anyone stay still when they were being looked at like that?

Roxas just stared. All bug-eyed and mouth open like he wanted to catch a fly or two, or maybe distend his jaw and swallow his head whole so he didn't have to look at Axel anymore.

Oh fuck! My hair, my face—

On a normal day it wouldn't have mattered, but with Axel in lingerie, the heat from outside and the nap he took after his shower leaving him bedraggled, he must have looked ridiculous. His constant stressing and fussing over the past half hour probably hadn't helped.

Yeah, definitely ridiculous. That wasn't the sort of stare you gave someone who got you horny.

He cleaned his throat, tried to keep his voice light. "That bad huh?"

Roxas's head snapped up, blinking rapidly. His mouth still didn't seem to be working so Axel had another go.

"I figured that much out, don't worry. Er," he rubbed the back of his neck, finally averted his gaze from those too blue eyes. "I'll just go get changed. Had planned too. Got different ideas now, y'know? Wish I'd been ready on time since it's our anniversary and all but hey, just give me a sec and I'll—"

The sound of footsteps cut him off, the plastic bag that'd hung off Roxas's arm tumbling to the floor. Then Roxas was holding him, kissing him and oh boy, that was a lot of tongue.

Axel let him, reached out to pull him close. His anxieties slipt away for a moment, lost in the feeling of lips against his own, hands in his hair, on his ass, pulling him close. There was a wet sound when they parted, and Axel found himself at a loss for breath and words.

"Shut up for a second," Roxas huffed, then, "You're hot Axel, alright? I just didn't expect you to have the same idea I did for today and those two things together sort of took my brain out of commission for a bit."

Axel opened his mouth, then the full meaning of Roxas's words hit him and he choked. "Wait, wait, what? Same idea?"

"Yeah," Roxas laughed.

"But Roxas you..."

Roxas laughed, a little less bright. Axel's heart clanged in his chest, discordant. He understood it that laugh. That hollow sound had rung through his bones back in his Nobody days, and had continued into his Somebody days whenever he just felt...

Wrong.

"Yeah," Roxas said eventually. "I know, it's not the sort of thing I usually do but...I thought you might like it. Wanted to try something special, something new."

"I do—I do like it, do want to try," Axel said, stammered, shuddered suddenly. Nerves and anticipation both, probably. His brain skipped and hopped about wildly, a little of the heat of the day finally reaching his crotch. Still, he had to ask. "So, uh, what's in the bag? Something to do with this?"

"Oh yeah, kinda? I said I'd pick up the essentials this morning, didn't I?" Roxas laughed, a little more real. "Sorry it's not romantic."

Ah, lube. They'd run out a couple of nights ago, been too busy with their life to pick up more until now. Kind of had today anyway, if they didn't want to risk being without it on their anniversary.

"Glad to know we've got more of the same ideas in mind," Axel grinned.

"Really?" Roxas raised a brow. "Because earlier it kind of sounded to me like you were panicking. Did you change your mind?"

Quiet.

Axel didn't really know what to say. Years ago he might have blown Roxas off (or gone straight to blowing him in the hope's it'd distract from the conversation) but they'd had enough fallouts due to his lies and deception that he really just didn't want to anymore.

A hand crept up to rest against his cheek. His flushed, bare cheek. Ugly. "Axel..."

"I just felt...wrong again."

Roxas nodded and said no more.

The kiss he left on his lips was brief. It still made Axel's toes curl. Then Roxas was moving across the room, grabbing the plastic bag and tossing it on the bed, shutting and locking the main door before ducking into their closet to emerge with their folding chairs and fancy table.

"Help?" He asked. Axel did.

By the time they were done they were set up by the wardrobe mirrors, both chairs and table secured. Axel had obeyed every order Roxas had given; fetched cosmetics and hair brushes and snacks (and mints) and laid them out, tried not to be distracted by Roxas toeing off his shoes and—oh those weren't his usual socks—and loosening his tie. Which reminded Axel...

"Hard day at the office?" He asked, grinning

"Haha," Roxas snorted. "Can you imagine me in an office?"

"No," Axel replied cheerily, sitting down. "Did the award ceremony go well?"

"Yeah, kids all showed up. Don't know why I was told to be in formal dress when nobody else was, but at least I did 'school teacher' instead of 'weddings and funerals' I suppose. Seifer was glaring daggers at me the whole time."

"That's because you trained the next Struggle champs and he didn't."

Roxas hummed, popping the cork on their champagne and settling back into his own seat. He poured, offered one glass flute to Axel. "To our anniversary?"

"Not to rubbing Seifer's face in the dirt?"

"That too, but right now I'm more interested in this," Roxas bit his lip. "Knocking Seifer down a peg or two's nice and all, but it doesn't quite compare to coming to home to you in panties."

Axel choked, glad he hadn't had his drink yet. Then he was smiling, snorting, laughing. "Alright, fine then," he said, and they clinked their glasses together. To us then, Axel thought.

His chest felt warm all a sudden, heart full, and he desperately hoped he wasn't about to cry.

"Axel?"

Oh damn, he thought, and then he was.

It wasn't a sobbing fit at least, just little tear tracks. Roxas leant forward and kissed them away. Axel didn't know how he managed to keep himself together. They'd both been Nobodies, after all. There wasn't really a good reason for him to be the only one bad at dealing with his emotions.

"I must look pretty silly right now," he sniffed.

"I don't really like seeing you cry," Roxas confessed, "but more because it means you feel bad and less because you look it. I mean, I've seen you every which way Axel. You looked a lot uglier to me back when you were trying to kill me than when you're crying."

"Reminiscing on attempted murder part of our anniversary plans?"

"I was thinking more...hair and makeup, y'know? I mean we brush each other's hair sometimes but this feels a little more...intimate."

Roxas trailed off, blushing. Axel felt his heart slow in his chest; a steady beat. Roxas was right. They'd never really done something like this. Affectionate touching, sure, but...well, it just wasn't common for guys to have 'girly' nights. Too touchy-feely, maybe, though Axel didn't mind.

Roxas though...

"You sure about this?" He asked.

Roxas nodded. "Yeah. I've been sure since the moment I got dressed this morning." He hesitated. "You...you wanna see?"

Axel gulped. "Yes please."

It was a delicate motion, the way Roxas reached out and took his hand, brought it over to his chest. The top button was already undone, but nothing was visible yet.

Axel's hands shook as he leant forward, gently slid his hands down Roxas's chest to the second button. It popped open, easy as that and—there. Just a hint of white lace. White. Fuck. He hadn't known if he'd go for that or black but fuck, Axel knew he was going to be gorgeous.

Still he went slow, felt the rise and fall of Roxas's chest as he breathed, the odd tremble here and there. Some of it was nerves, some hopefully arousal. Maybe it was all just a bit much, but they could do 'a bit much' together. They could handle it. They always had.

With the last button undone Axel slipt the shirt of Roxas's shoulders, let it hang on them as he sat back and—

"Do my pants next. It'll look silly otherwise."

So Axel tore his eyes away and unbuttoned them, waited for Roxas to lift himself so he could slide black slacks off his body, toss them and the shirt away with the necktie and forget about them until morning.

He sat back and breathed, and realized something.

Axel's problem with his lingerie had been that it fit too poorly.

Roxas's was that it fit too well.

He'd never been big in the chest—small enough that he could get away with not wearing a binder. Some of that was that Sora was small himself, and of course his Nobody would be similar in size and shape, but the other part was magic. They hadn't been able to find something permanent—nothing without side-effects Roxas wasn't willing to risk—but there's been spells out there to make his bust just that little bit smaller.

Still he was big enough—and soft enough—that the white lace cupped his breasts perfectly. They could pass for rather large pectorals except when touched, and Axel couldn't resist doing just that.

The babydoll suited him; pretty white with delicate patterns. They weren't that different from Axel's own—and briefly, his mind was filled with asinine Wonderland sing-song, cards singing about bushes of roses identical in every way except color. Red. White.

The lace and silk gave way to the same sheer fabric Axel wore, baring a stomach both soft and hard. No ribs here, only muscle and smooth skin. Axel trailed his fingers under it, eyes flickering up when Roxas gasped. Blue eyes were dark, pale cheeks flushed.

A sour voice at the back of his mind noted that Roxas's panties didn't fit much differently than his own, despite Roxas having no cock—not one he couldn't take off at least—but he pushed the thought aside. He admired the fit, the style, the tiny rose bud bow at the center of the waistband. It demanded his attention, invited him to play. More than that, the dusting of gold hair visible just beyond the panties made all of Axel's blood rush south, enticing—and that eased his anxieties just a little, because maybe, just maybe, Roxas was also turned on by his—

Roxas shifted, thigh high clad legs parting under Axel's gaze. The sight made him shudder, bite back a moan. The new position revealed the damp spot on Roxas's panties, already so wet they were nearly see-through.

"You did that," Roxas said, voice low, "just looking like you do, looking at me."

For a moment Axel thought he'd hang the entire plan—no hair play, no makeup, just him and Roxas banging on the bedroom floor. The second he had the thought though it vanished, because he really did want to do this right and...

He glanced in the mirror, green eyes stormy. Dark feelings didn't go away that easily.

Roxas's reflection reached out, gentle hands on Axel's chin turning him away from the mirror. Axel let him, tension easing. Roxas smiled.

"C'mon, let's get ready."

It was a quiet affair, broken only by the occasional joke, complaint or compliment. They started with makeup, Roxas dabbing at Axel's cheeks, smoothing the powder brush over his forehead, nose, chin. Something giddy danced in Axel's stomach; the knowledge, maybe, that he'd been the one to teach Roxas this.

There was a wide array of liners and lipsticks, all shades of red and its complimentaries. Axel had never replaced his old tattoos, but it wasn't unusual for him to draw them on sometimes, and he wasn't surprised when Roxas did so tonight. He closed his eyes, let himself be soothed by Roxas's care as he applied the finishing touches of blush.

Did I even need it? There seemed to be only two places in his body with any blood, and his cheeks were the uppermost of those.

"Right, we're done." Axel tried to look in the mirror but Roxas grabbed his chin again. "Wait until we're both done, alright? Hair too."

"Alright," Axel grinned. His lips kept that quirk as he popped a pretzel in Roxas's mouth, let him swallow it down before he set to work. Doing Roxas's makeup was always a privilege. It had taken Roxas a long time to master doing Axel's makeup, but it had taken even longer to convince Roxas to take a turn as the canvas.

Cosmetics hadn't really been on their agenda back in the Organization, and after returning Roxas hadn't really been interested. Maybe some of that was Sora's influence, growing up on the Islands where it wasn't so common. Maybe some of it was self-consciousness. Twilight Town was a little more modern than Destiny Islands, but though the people here used makeup, it came with its own assortment of often gendered rules.

But, well, if Axel wore makeup then Roxas could too. That, more than anything else, had made most sense to Roxas.

The thought stayed with him as he painted Roxas's face pretty colors, his own earlier unease fading to background noise. A blood red might look lovely on him, or something else bright, but Axel wanted soft tones for Roxas tonight. Glossy pink on his lips, pale blue and silver on his eyes. There was a little huff from Roxas when he heard Axel open the glitter pot but no request to stop. Maybe he had been lulled just the way Axel had, caught up in the feel of fingers tracing and brushes caressing. His eyes were closed, lips slightly parted.

He was so beautiful.

"Handsome boy," Axel murmured, resisted the urge to press a kiss to Roxas's cheek. The scarlet wouldn't match the color scheme he had going on.

"Look whose talking," Roxas laughed, popped a mint in his mouth when Axel finished attacking it with glitter gloss. "You done?"

"Yeah."

"Then let's do hair."

"No looking in the mirror," Axel reminded him. Roxas rolled his eyes but skirted the chairs with his back to his reflection anyway, settled in behind Axel with brush in hand.

This was the best part, Axel thought. His hair was a mess of wild red and tangles and he'd never expected anyone to help him take care of it after Isa broke a hairbrush in it at age ten.

But Roxas did, and it felt so good.

His eyes fluttered closed, let himself get lost in the sensation of Roxas carefully gathering his hair, brushing out the ends then letting the bristles soothe his roots and scalp. Sometimes he paused, presumably to pick the occasional knot out of the brush, but then he was back to work. His hands were always so gentle. It made Axel shiver.

They were such lovely hands, really. As capable with a brush as they'd ever been with a Keyblade. Two Keyblades, he corrected, though I'm not sure this'd work so well with two brushes.

He never wanted it to end, but when it did he knew he'd like nothing better than to return the favor. The only tragedy was that he couldn't turn Roxas to face the mirror while he did it, watch his face as he dozed, for fear of seeing himself before they were both ready. Maybe it was silly to worry about, but promises to Roxas were promises worth keeping. And maybe I've felt like I've failed to keep them too many times.

Axel stopped worrying about the mirror the deeper he got into his task though, enjoyed teasing and toying with Roxas's hair a little more than was necessary. Roxas snorted, laughed when his fingers danced down his neck. He batted them, and then nearly ended up in hysterics when they jostled the table too much, still laden with leftover snacks and makeup and champagne flutes. The whole thing had them laughing when their panic to keep everything from tipping over wore off.

They settled back down, still giggling, Axel massaging Roxas's scalp before he got to work. He made sure to give as good as he got, mind tuning out everything but the hair in front of him, so careful as he brushed and styled all the strands. By the end of it Roxas's head was drooping as surely as his own had been, but his hair was perfect and that was what mattered.

"Oi," Axel gave him a gentle tap on the cheek. "Napping's my thing, stop stealing my style."

"Shut up," Roxas laughed. "Okay, okay, you wanna sit down while we look or—"

"Let's just do it like this," Axel said, fingers coming to rest on Roxas's shoulders. "Work for you?"

"Yeah, okay. One, two..."

Axel looked up on three.

He blinked. He didn't look that different from usual. Aside from a little extra color on his eyes and lips—a little brighter than was typical—it really wasn't so far off from his everyday look. The teardrops were a welcome addition but nothing that unusual. Even his hair was just brushed, styled much the same as always.

So why did he feel so much better?

His eyes drifted down and caught blue in the mirror.

Roxas looked different like this. No longer focused in his work Axel could admire it, could see how Roxas brought it to life with his smile. It wasn't that he was more beautiful now than he usually was, but that he was happy, smiling, enjoying what they'd done and...

Well maybe that was it. Maybe it was just that Axel got too tangled in the webs inside his head, and it took Roxas coming along and brushing them aside to get him out again. Only then, it seemed, could appreciate what he had without all the smoke and mirrors getting in the way.

"You look good," Roxas murmured.

"Tooting your own horn there, huh?" Axel laughed.

"Well I won't say I'm not talented, but I feel like if the canvas is pretty how it is you don't have to work very hard."

"Cheesy," he snorted, but his heart was hammering. He dragged Roxas up so he could hug him from behind, admire the way their reflections looked together. "C'mon, I think we can head to bed now. We'll do dinner after."

"What's dinner?"

"Cake, duh."

Roxas pinched the bridge of his nose. "Should we order a pizza?"

"I'll put the phone by the bed. I'm not getting up to the answer the door in the middle of sex."

"Like I'd let you," Roxas growled, not quite threatening, but Axel still collapsed in a mock-swoon. He could've resisted when Roxas lifted him, bridal style, but he liked being manhandled by his much smaller boyfriend.

They were a ridiculous pile of panties and giggles by the time they collapsed on the bed proper, phone in place, assurances that yes, we can nap before dinner, and no you haven't managed to ruin your makeup yet left behind.

"Right," Roxas said, on hands and knees above Axel. His eyes caught the eternal sunset outside their window and glittered; blue sheen and silver sparkles. His lips parted in a hungry grin. "Let's get to it."

Axel snorted at his delivery, but if his words were sexless his fingers skimming over his babydoll were sex defined. He shuddered as nails teased him through the fabric, his own hands fisting in Roxas's hair, in the bed sheets.

Words gave way to kisses, soft and slow. When Roxas pulled back the pink of his lips was a little darker, Axel's lipstick and the heat of their mouths bringing out the red.

"You're glossy now," Roxas grinned.

Axel just pulled him down for another kiss.

It was all tongue and grinding, sweet and slow. The part of Axel that felt the need to tie each of his gangly limbs to the torture wheel and spin his psyche round like one of his old chakrams noted that there wasn't really much for Roxas to grind against, but the rest of him pushed the thought aside. It got lost, eventually, in the hot slide of their bodies, rolling hips and fingers pulling at hair. Axel smiled, remembering.

The first time they'd had sex had been in Roxas's old bedroom. They'd visited the simulated Twilight Town, took the chance to come to terms with what had happened there. The rest of the Twilight Gang had come to see the place their virtual selves had inhabited, but they'd let Roxas and Axel go off alone.

It had started a little like combat, their emotions expressed in pushing, pulling, struggling against one another—friction. They'd stumbled back toward the bed, eager. But Axel had pulled away, embarrassed; the pain of his memories tangling with his guilt, manifesting in his dislike for his twitchy, skinny body. It had always felt inadequate to hold his recompleted heart.

And Roxas had pushed him back on the bed and asked again, when Axel didn't answer the first time, if he could fuck him.

With everything he'd ever done to Roxas weighing on his mind, Axel'd said yes. He hadn't known if that were because he wanted it regardless of his past actions, or because he felt so guilty he knew he owed it to Roxas.

But Roxas had asked a third time, seeing through him, and Axel had had to confess. He wanted him. No matter what he'd done or who'd they'd been, he wanted him. Here, now, forever.

There'd been no sense in denying that he was small. Proportional in width if not height, if anyone had ever stuck a hand in his pants back in school they'd have found nothing there except plenty to laugh about.

But Roxas hadn't made fun of him, even when he'd choked out an apology. Instead he'd stood, stepped out of his own pants, and let Axel see him for the first time. His replica body had shifted when his being had entered it, took the shape Roxas had been 'born' with, if not the one he wanted. The complete absence of anything but a slit between his legs had been enough to draw Axel out of his own head, put things in perspective.

Then Roxas had pushed him back on the bed and ground against him until they'd come. He really hadn't had the wits to be thinking during that.

They ground together now too, panties damp with slick and precum grinding against each other. Axel bit back a moan, tried not to fall apart when Roxas straddled his hips and began to rock back and forth. Even at his hardest he wasn't much, wasn't even average, but there was enough there to have Roxas panting, sliding up and down against his clothed cock. Axel writhed, everything too much, too good, and fuck, Roxas was beautiful above him. His mind got lost in the moment, in more memories.

There'd been no talk of who put what where the first time they'd fucked. The second time though—in a little house on Destiny Islands—they'd had that talk. Or rather they'd dry humped each other into a frenzy, eternal summer heat frying their brains, and finally decided they wanted something more than foreplay and fondling.

Roxas didn't often like things inside him, he'd learnt, but he enjoyed tongue and the occasional finger, and Axel realized that not everyone was after someone with cock roughly proportional to Aeleus's. More than that, Axel learnt that night that maybe it was fine to want to get shoved back on the bed and fucked apart by his boyfriend's strap - cute and thick and silver-white.

Virginal colors, he'd joked, and then Roxas had jerked his head back with a hand in his hair and kissed him into submission. It was Axel's favorite version of 'shut up', and he treasured the silence it demanded, his whimpers and moans the only sounds permitted.

Some part of him had been worried that the fact he'd liked getting pounded into the mattress was a reflection of his size— no matter how stupid the thought was when his boyfriend was quite literally a cockless top most of the time—but he'd later learnt over drinks that Aeleus also liked getting pounded, and unlike Axel, had a much harder time finding anyone to do it to him. Maybe all that matters is what feels good to you.

Axel groaned, shocked out of his memories by the feeling of Roxas's lips on his chest, sucking his nipples through lace and silk. He dragged his nails along his back then slipt them round the front to grope his chest, thrilled when he bent a knee to rub up against Roxas's cunt. Roxas whimpered and Axel rubbed harder, squeezed his breasts. He was so soft, so wet. "You're so hot Roxas. So fucking hot."

The moan that got made him grin, memory of their third time accompanying their foreplay. He'd his tongue in Roxas's folds then, one finger in his ass, Roxas's mouth around his cock. Roxas had gasped when he came, gushing wet all over Axel's lips, and then he'd turned around and shoved Axel back against the bed.

I want you Axel, he'd said. I want you to fuck me.

Afterward Axel had held Roxas through a wave of dysphoria, understood a little due to his own strange relationship with his body. But I'd do it again with you, Roxas'd murmured. It was pretty good.

And it had definitely been that. The memory of Roxas in that dark room on Destiny Islands, the sky outside the window all violet, blue, and black, was one he replayed in his head over and over. The way Roxas had rubbed against him, let the head of Axel's tiny cock catch on his hole over and over until finally he'd gripped him and sank down, squeezing hot and tight around him.

It hadn't taken long for Axel to come, but in all fairness, it hadn't taken long for Roxas to either. When they'd talked about it the next day, Roxas had managed a tired smile and said, I'm just glad you're small. I don't think...I could deal with anything bigger. I don't think I could feel good about it.

It'd been the first time Axel'd been grateful, really. Praise be to the Big and the Average, but if Roxas liked him small and Axel still got to feel good, maybe he didn't give as much of a damn about it as he thought he did.

That thought accompanied a whimper, breath escaping as Roxas slid a hand beneath his panties, squeezing his ass, parting his cheeks to slip three wet fingers over his hole. Axel gasped, rocked back as they entered him, tried not to mewl and failed when Roxas bent his head to suck his cock through his panties.

"You wanna take them off?" He asked.

"No just—to the side. I want you to fuck me with them on." He didn't know why. It just sounded good, right. Maybe I just want to think of this the next time I wear lingerie. This, and nothing else.

Yeah, that was what he wanted. Get the best parts of it memorized, remember what mattered. Him, and Roxas, and feeling good.

Roxas slipt off the bed for a second, fussed as he settled his strap-on over his panties—the same one from all those years ago. Axel parted his legs when Roxas returned, wrapped them around his waist and hummed at the sight of his thigh highs pressed against Roxas's silk and lace. Fuck, it was hotter than he'd thought it'd be.

"Beautiful," Roxas grinned, "but I think you're about to look even better."

Anticipation flooded Axel's stomach, warm and tingling. He gripped Roxas a little tighter, used his legs to draw him closer. "Please," he begged. "Need you in me. Feels so empty with you inside."

Roxas took a shaky breath, pushed into him slowly, both hands on Axel's thighs, bruising them with his grip. Axel's fingers tangled in the bed sheets, moan slipping past his lips with how right it felt to have Roxas filling him. No more emptiness, no more loneliness. Roxas came to a stop when he was completely inside, took another shaky breath when Axel tightened around the toy despite the fact he couldn't feel it.

Or maybe he could. He'd been a Nobody once, had phantom feelings so strong Axel wondered if they'd ever really been without hearts. Maybe this phantom feeling was strong too. Or maybe when I squeeze it pushes it against his clit. That worked for him too.

The thought was wiped from his mind when Roxas moved, began to thrust. The dick he'd chosen was thick, the way it rubbed his walls so pleasant. Axel's stomach was warm already, tingling, and he didn't think he could last long. He couldn't contain the sounds that slipt past his lips when Roxas put a hand on his cock, ground down through his panties.

"You're so good Axel, so fucking good. Every time I'm with you I just want to hold you, fuck you, kiss you." Roxas bent over him and breathed, pressing kisses to his chest and stomach and neck, wherever he could reach, wherever the cloth had shifted and skin had been bared. "If the only way to get you to see how beautiful you are is by fucking you then I'll fuck you every day of my life because I just—I just..."

Roxas's voice broke, failed, and Axel reached up wildly to pull him down, hold him. Roxas fucked harder, deeper, ground his hips against Axel's ass. Axel's legs flailed, lost their grip on his waist when Roxas held him down and pounded.

There were stars behind his eyes and a fire burning in his belly, cock twitching, ass squeezing and he just wanted—wanted—

"Want you Roxas, want you."

"Love you," Roxas choked out and slammed inside him.

Axel came, soaked the inside of his panties with cum and drew his nails down Roxas's back, mewling and moaning and whimpering. His body shook with his release, Roxas gently thrusting as he rode it out, coming to a stop when Axel finally stilled.

"Love you too," Axel whispered when Roxas slipt out, bent down to brush the hair from his face and kiss his cheek.

For a moment they were quiet. Roxas's makeup was a little smeared, Axel thumbing his gloss until it was tidy. Roxas laughed, a little breathy, and batted his hands away. "Quit it you dork."

"Never," Axel drew him back down for another kiss, Roxas trembling against him. Axel was well-fucked, sated and sore in all the right ways, but he recognized Roxas's squirming for what it was. "Come on, your turn." A pause. "Unless you'd rather not?"

Roxas groaned, "No I'd like my turn, just give me a sec."

His hands fumbled with the harness. Axel's eyes were on his thighs, still perfectly clad in white stockings, shaking, desperate. You'd never be able to tell by the look on his face, but they'd been together long enough that Axel knew when Roxas needed a good tongue-fuck.

The strap and harness clattered on its box beside the bed. Axel didn't give Roxas the chance to turn back around before he grabbed him, dragged across the sheets.

"Axel!" Roxas exclaimed, but he was laughing. They shared a look before he sighed, flopped onto his back with his legs splayed in the air, Axel's hands sliding under his panties and holding up his hips.

There was nothing for a few moments, just shaky breaths in the silent room. Then Axel leant in and pressed a kiss to his panties, felt the heat and wet beyond, soaking.

He settled, shoved a pillow under Roxas's hips, made both of them as comfortable as he could. His hands slid back under Roxas's panties, gripped his ass. He pressed more kisses to the fabric, teasing, listening to the tiny groans Roxas made, feeling him squirm when he rubbed the flat of his tongue against his pussy.

"Axel..." Roxas breathed, and he looked up. Roxas's cheeks were flushed, much darker than the gentle dusting of pink powder Axel had given him earlier. His blue eyes were so bright, and so dark. "Please..."

Well how could Axel deny someone who asked so nicely?

He slid his fingers under the waistband of the panties, worked them off one leg. He needed a little help from Roxas but didn't have to ask. Roxas just knew. They'd done this so many times before after all.

There was something wholly debauched about the sight of Roxas's panties still clinging to one thigh, so he left them, instead gripped Roxas's ass again and brought his pussy up to his lips. He was swollen and pink, glistening. Axel pressed his tongue in for a taste, felt Roxas shudder as he wrapped his lips around his clit and sucked.

"Ah..." Already he was squirming, a good sign that the earlier friction from fucking Axel had brought him to the edge. A part of Axel still wanted to draw this out, wanted him to feel as thoroughly fucked as Axel did. But he knew Roxas couldn't last, and didn't enjoy being teased nearly so much as Axel did himself.

So he swirled his tongue, up against his clit then down his slit, squeezed his ass, reached blinding for the lube. He managed to open with one hand, spilling a little on the sheets before he got it shut again. Then he had wet fingers pressed against Roxas's ass, sliding in as his tongue pushed into his pussy.

"Fuck!" Roxas swore, grinding his hips against Axel's face. Axel thrust his tongue in and out, felt Roxas flutter around him, more slick spill onto his lips. His fingers curled inside his ass, felt hot walls clamp down around him. "A-Axel I'm—I'm gonna—"

Axel slid his tongue in deep and sucked, rubbed his nose against Roxas's clit. He groped his ass with one hand, thrust the other's fingers deeper inside. Even without a prostate he knew just where to rub to make Roxas come undone.

And he did. Roxas let out a broken moan and tightened around Axel's tongue, wet and hot and gorgeous. His pussy and ass throbbed, whole body stiffening with his release. Axel didn't need to look to know his fingers and toes were curled in the blanket, the only grounding he had save for Axel's hands on him.

Axel pulled back when he was done, wiped his face on his babydoll before bending down to press a kiss against his boyfriend's cheek. Roxas laughed.

"Your lipstick's gone."

"Hm, wonder where it went."

Roxas pulled a face. "We're cleaning up before we take that nap y'know?"

"No way!"

"Yeah way."

Axel stuck out his tongue and Roxas caught it in his mouth, drew a hand up into his hair for a kiss. Slow, soft. Axel wanted it to go on forever.

Instead Roxas kept true to his word and got up, kicking off the panties still clinging to one leg before he set to work. No amount of whining or complaining could stop him, and eventually Axel rolled off the bed to help, making sure to fling his own underwear at Roxas's head just for making them tidy up on their anniversary.

"Should we keep the tops on?" Roxas asked when they were nearly done. "Feels like kind of a waste to just take them off."

"I, er, I kind of wiped stuff on mine," Axel confessed.

Roxas cackled. "Gross!"

"Hey shut up, I did it so I wasn't gonna be wiping my 'gross' hands all over you!"

There was no appreciation for his sacrifice though. Roxas didn't stop laughing. It took Axel lifting him up and swinging him around several times before he finally quit, and there—that was it, the last of Axel's energy spent as he collapsed back on the bed.

They were quieter when they wiped off their makeup, Axel no longer feeling self-conscious about his bare face. Roxas didn't make them put their dirty lingerie in the wash, dumping it on the ground before they slipt into their significantly more comfortable boxer briefs. No more new clothes, just the old, but it'd been fun while it lasted.

Roxas tugged down the blinds, eternal twilight beyond the window replaced by the dim glow of their bedside lamp. Axel shifted so Roxas could rest his head on his chest, took in the way the light danced across his features.

"Handsome boy," he murmured.

A kiss to his neck. "Not as pretty as you though."

Axel chuckled, but for the moment he believed him. That was nice. "So was it a good anniversary y'think?"

"I'm going to carry the image of you in lingerie with me wherever I go from now on, just in case I need a reminder why life is worth living." Axel pinched him, but only earnt a laugh. "It was great Axel. I'm glad it worked out. I'd do it again y'know? Some new worlds are worth visiting twice."

"Sure," Axel laughed. "So you'd go with me to lingerie land again?"

"Yeah," Roxas murmured, words muffled by Axel's chest. "And everywhere else if I can."

Axel could feel the quirk of lips, the little smile pressed against him. He didn't really notice his ribs or his bones, or the deep sense of guilt and shame that still lingered somewhere under it all. All he could feel was Roxas, and all he knew himself to be was his friend, his lover, someone he trusted.

And he thought that person must be, even alone, not so bad a guy (and maybe not so bad looking in lingerie either).

With that thought in mind he snuggled under the covers and turned out the light.

"Happy Anniversary Roxas."

He smiled at the mumbled, "you too," before he drifted off to sleep.